Chasing After Me
by Sabrinne
Summary: [Complete!] Shuichi's finally had it with Yuki and now its up to Yuki to repair their relationship. C&C welcome. Thanks for your support.
1. The End of Us

Chasing After Me 

A Gravitation Fanfiction

Author's Notes: This fic was inspired by me agonizing over when I was finally going to get to see the last two episodes of Gravitation. Throughout the series, I always thought that Yuki and Shuichi make the cutest couple but Shuichi puts up with way too much crap. I would have given up on Yuki long before the series ended, so that's how I came up with this fic. Expect rampant OOCness! EDITED VERSION

Thoughts: _Thoughts_

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW! But don't I wish they were mine, *sigh* ^_^

Part 1: The End of Us

Shuichi unlocked the door to the apartment that him and Yuki had shared over the past two years with a big smile on his face. After a year of non-stop touring, rehearsing, and recording, Bad Luck was getting a two-week vacation!

"Yuki, tadaima!" Shuichi called out cheerfully as he glanced around the living room, searching for the young writer. Walking to the small study, the kitchen, and finally the bedroom, Yuki was nowhere in sight.

"Yuki, where are you?" the pink haired singer whimpered to himself as his exuberant mood quickly deflated. Plopping down on the sofa that still served as his bed many nights, he stared emptily at the ceiling. While he studied the patterns overhead, Shuichi sighed, a sound that was rarely heard from the emotional singer. In fact, Shuichi had been feeling down these past two months without any reason at all. Usually Yuki and his relationship was the only thing that could make Shuichi feel depressed but the couple hadn't had any ups and downs in a while. Sure, Yuki was still cold and distant at times but Shuichi had long gotten used to his attitude. 

"Yuki . . . where are you?" Shuichi whined under his breath again as he waited for the blond writer to come home.

Yuki didn't know how long he had been wandering in the cold. He had been typing on his computer early in the afternoon when he suddenly felt the need escape the small office. So he left the apartment in a hurry, forgetting even to pull on a jacket. Extracting a cigarette from his front shirt pocket, Yuki lit it with shaking fingers as he looked around the empty park. _Che, it's night already. The brat is probably at home worrying himself sick._ They had been lovers for two years and it seemed that not a thing had changed since then. Sometimes, he wondered how they could be together after all this time, their personalities being the complete opposite of each other. Of course, their relationship was not always smooth; they were always fighting over something or another. But in the end, Shuichi would always be the one to give in first. Yuki felt pleased and disturbed at the same time.

Tossing the still glowing cigarette with a resigned sigh onto the pavement, Yuki turned around to walk back to the apartment.

Shuichi looked over at the clock on the VCR with a frown. He had been home for a couple hours but Yuki was still not home yet. Running a hand through his mussed hair, Shuichi felt tears begin to well up in his eyes. It was not odd that the writer will disappear for hours at a time but Shuichi was still not used to dealing with these vanishing acts. His hyperactive imagination would always take over and he would see Yuki hurt or worse in his mind. "Yuki!!!!"

Yuki opened the door to the apartment with a soft click. Glancing around the room, his body was tense, ready for any attack from Shuichi. But the living room was dark as he walked in, the singer was nowhere in sight. _Must have fallen asleep._ He thought relief mixed with a small amount of disappointment. But just as he began to smile, a round pink blur headed in his direction at a furious speed.

"Yuki, Yuki, Yuki! You're finally home! I was so worried about you!" Shuichi babbled on and on as he held a death grip on the blond writer.

"Hmn." Yuki just glared at Shuichi as he pried the boy off of his arm and headed to the bedroom. Before Shuichi could walk in with him, he slammed the door in the boy's face. But even as the door shut with a bang, Yuki wanted to open it again. He had been wrong about their relationship. He had thought about it all the way home from the park. Although on the surface, they still acted like the same people they were two years ago, Yuki knew that he wasn't the same. He didn't know when or how he had started to change but the only thing he was positive was that he was no longer the same Yuki Eiri that Shuichi had met in the park on that windy night. Yuki sank into the soft bed with a bemused smile on his face, he still wasn't sure if this new side of him was welcome yet.

Shuichi stood in front of the door to the bedroom without a single emotion on his face. The sound of the door slamming still resounded in his ears as he touched a hand to the smooth surface of the wood. It was in that instant that he felt something shatter within himself. His mouth opened in a silent scream as he slid limply onto the floor. Lying on the hard ground, he turned his head to the side as he looked at the living room that he shared with Yuki. The room was arranged so neatly that it was almost painful to Shuichi, who thrived on disorder. On the left was the sofa that he slept in, and the right side held all of Shuichi's possessions. It almost seemed like a small barricade in the room. His corner within the large space if the apartment, just like the tiny part that Shuichi played in Yuki's life.

Closing his eyes, Shuichi felt a tear fall from his eyes, and roll down to drop silently on the floor. He wanted to laugh at himself but no sound broke from his throat as the tears fell harder. In the two years that he had been living with Yuki, he realized that he hadn't even been able to move some of his clothes to Yuki's closet in the bedroom. Sure, it was a trivial thing, but it was the one that seemed to matter the most at the time. _I am pitiful._ Those words played over and over in Shuichi's head as he curled into a small ball on the floor.

Sometime past midnight, Shuichi was able to rise from the ground on wobbly legs. His head throbbed painfully as he hobbled to the sofa. For the past two hours he had lay on the floor his mind chanting a litany of questions. _Is this what love is supposed to be?_ He wondered. _Giving, giving, giving, but receiving nothing in return?_ That was what his relationship with Yuki seemed to be like most of the time. He loved the writer deeply but still to this day he was not sure that Yuki felt anymore than 'caring' and physical attraction towards him. Times like this one tonight was a cruel reminder of how cold and hateful Yuki could be. 

He was tired. He had never felt so tired, standing helplessly in front of his lover's bedroom door, unable to walk in. Unable to talk to him. Unable to let him know how much the other's actions hurt. _This isn't a relationship. Seguchi Tohma was right when he said that we would only hurt each other in the end. I am sick of being hurt, I am sick of being treated like an annoying pest, I am sick of this me that I no longer recognize. Where is Shindou Shuichi, the genki nineteen year old, without a care in the world? _Shuichi studied his reflection in the large windows of the apartment that overlooked downtown Tokyo. The young man that stared back at him looked haggard, his features marred with pain and suffering. _No matter how much I still love him, our relationship can't continue anymore. At least not like this. This is the end._

As dawn broke through the horizon, spilling warm sunlight into the living room, all traces of the untidy singer who lived there was gone. In the end, Shuichi couldn't even muster up the courage to leave a note to his lover. But he knew that Yuki could understand the message that he was sending him. Shuichi didn't look back as he adjusted the suitcase in his hand. As he walked down the block to the bus stop, that will take him back to his parent's home, he kept his back straight and his head held up high. His decision had been made. It was odd though; he thought that he would feel relief when he finally escaped from the crushing grasp of his relationship with Yuki but the tears that fell from his eyes would not stop flowing.

Yuki awoke abruptly from his deep slumber. Judging from the sunlight that filtered in through the shades, it was already mid-morning. Usually at this time, Shuichi would have already woke him up, but the apartment seemed oddly quiet. Pulling on a shirt, Yuki padded out of the bedroom.

At first, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, as Yuki made himself a strong cup of coffee in the kitchen. But as he carried the mug into the living room, he finally noticed what was off about the room. Shuichi's things were all gone. Not one knick-knack, manga, oversized mug, or Nittle Grasper tape was in sight. All that remained was an empty spot in the room that used to contain all those things. The coffee mug fell from Yuki's hand, shattering on the wooden floorboards. 

_He's gone._ Yuki looked down dispassionately at the shattered pieces of ceramic and the small pool of coffee next to his feet. For a second, he couldn't breathe; his chest was so tight that he felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest. The one thing that he had always counted on, Shuichi's unconditional, almost blind love for him, he had lost. 

At first Yuki felt only anger and abandonment as he punched a fist into the wall, sending the plaster flying. The pain from his throbbing knuckles didn't register as he grabbed his jacket, determined to find Shuichi and drag him back if necessary. But when his hand grasped the cool doorknob, he paused. _What right do I have to go chase after him? You should be happy that he's finally came to his senses. It's your own damn fault that he left, its what you wanted remember?_ Yuki leaned his forehead against the door as his shoulders began to shake violently.

The eerie silence in the room was broken by a bark of rusty laughter as Yuki walked to the kitchen and got himself a bottle of sake instead. As he poured the clear liquid into a cup, his hands were still shaking as he continued to laugh quietly. He downed the first cup and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt as he looked over at the stand next to the sofa. Shuichi did leave something behind. He had been wrong. The only thing that remained of Shuichi was a picture of the two of them, taken a year ago. He remembered the adoration in Shuichi's eyes as he presented the framed picture to him. He also remembered his words to Shuichi.

"Yuki, Yuki! Don't you think we look pretty good?"

"Hmn."

"Where should I put it? In the living room? The bedroom?" Shuichi teased bouncing up and down next to the writer, who was trying to rewrite a scene in his new novel.

"Shut up, you are annoying me brat."

Those were Yuki Eiri's famous words. The ones that were designed to hurt and to cut someone down coldly. Well he had finally succeeded. He had driven Shuichi away and h was better for it, he tried to convince himself. He had done nothing but hurt Shuichi since they had met. He was the one that dragged Shuichi into his tainted past, all of the horrors that Shuichi suffered was because of him. Yes, he should be glad that Shuichi finally came to his senses.

Yuki wanted to feel happy for his young lover. He wanted to congratulate him for finally realizing the truth about their relationship but he could only look at the sake that he held in his hands and laugh hysterically. He didn't know when or how it happened but minutes later, those hysterical laughs became gut-wrenching sobs instead. _Is this what love is supposed to feel like? This terrible dull pain throbbing from deep within your body? A little too late to be regretting this isn't it? This is the end._

Author's Notes: Angst, angst, angst, angst . . . comments, questions, flames all welcome!

**********

Shuichi: Yuki Yuki Yuki!

Yuki:  . . . 

Shuichi: How could you, Bri-chan? I would never leave Yuki!

Sabrinne: ^_^;; gomen gomen, bear it for a while, onegai!

Shuichi: Wahhhhhhhhh!

Yuki: . . . 

Shuichi: I want Yuki!

Yuki: . . . I would never cry like that . . .

Japanese Glossary:

Baka- stupid, idiot

Che- akin to 'shit' or 'damn'

Tadaima- I'm home


	2. The Days that Follow

Chasing After Me A Gravitation Fanfiction 

Author's Notes: I finally found the time to edit part 01 of this fic, it's got some minor differences from the first draft (I wrote that at 2 am). Thanks for everyone who let me know that Shuichi's sister's name is Maiko!

Warnings: Will contain some spoilers, shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!)

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW.

Sabrinne: Yippee! *dances around with chocolate Yuki in hand* (Thanks Eike!)

Shuichi: I want a chocolate Yuki too! *sparkly teary eyes*

Yuki: . . .

Sabrinne: It's all mine! Hahaha!

Shuichi: Meanie!

Yuki: What kind of torture do you have in store for me this chapter?

Shuichi: *glomps on Yuki*

Sabrinne: Oh ho ho ho *twitching fox ears* 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 2: The Days that Follow

Shuichi flipped over in bed again, staring at the digital clock that sat a few feet away, the faint green numbers seemed to taunt him silently. 4:12am. It was still much too early for him to get up and leave for the studio. Letting out a long breath, he ran a hand through mussed pink hair as he sat up against his pillows. Actually, tonight had been one of the better ones that he had had in the past two weeks. He usually lied awake in bed for hours as he waited for the sun to reappear on the horizon. It wasn't that he didn't feel tired or sleepy, it's was just that every time he closed his eyes he would see him. Yuki Eiri. Every night, the mesmerizing gold eyes, gentle hands, and soft, deep voice haunted him. 

"Argh!" Shuichi growled as he buried his head into the pillows. There it was again, he was thinking about the last person that he wanted to remember at the moment. _It feels like nothing has changed, I still agonized over him, whether we are together or not. He admitted in defeat. However, he was not going to be discouraged by this. When he had moved out of the apartment, he promised himself that he would not look back, he would get over Yuki. No matter what._

"Yosh!" Shuichi bunch his small hands into fists as he flung the covers away from his body. Swinging his legs to the ground, Shuichi stood up from the small bed and crept quietly out of the room. Since there was no way that he could sleep anymore tonight, he was going to do something useful while he was awake. Walking down the stairs to the kitchen, Shuichi poured himself a glass of water as he plopped down onto one of the chairs that were arranged around the small oak table. Taking a large swig of the liquid, he pulled out a sheet of notebook paper and a Nittle Grasper ink pen.

"Lyrics, lyrics, lyrics . . ." Shuichi mumbled under his breath as he bent down close to the piece of paper that lay on the table. _K-san and Sakano-san will be so surprised tomorrow. And for once Fujisaki won't whine about the 'work' environment! He giggled as he started to scratch words onto the page painstakingly. _

Several minutes later, Shuichi's forehead lay against the piece of paper; a small line of drool was dangerously close to the words that he had written on the page. His eyes had become wide and filled with tears that were dangerously close to falling. "Nothing, absolutely nothing!" He growled at the paper, as if it was at fault. Jumping up from the chair, he ripped the paper up from the table and crumpled it in his hand as he stomped around the room in frustration. He was in mid-stride when a small, sleepy voice from the dark entrance to the kitchen startled him, making him drop the small ball of mangled paper.

"Onii-chan?" 

"Kyaaaa! Maiko, you scared me!" Shuichi breathed in and out loudly as he held a hand over his heart. "What are you doing up at this time of the night?"

"I could be asking you the same thing onii-chan." Maiko yawned as she padded over to Shuichi.

"Eh," Shuichi scratched the side of his head as he smiled widely. "I couldn't sleep tonight. I'm just too excited about getting back into the studio again and recording Bad Luck's second CD!" The tears of joy that was flowing down Shuichi's cheeks would have made Sakano proud.

"Really?" Maiko cocked her head to the side as she studied her older brother with narrowed eyes. Despite the happy tears and sparkly eyes, something was definitely off about Shuichi. 

"You're not going to be any good tomorrow morning, if you look like you just came back from the dead." She could see the shadows under his eyes and the pallor of his skin even in the dim lights of the kitchen. Grabbing Shuichi by the collar of his pajamas, Maiko dragged him back up the stairs and tossed him into his bed. "Go to sleep, onii-chan!" She yelled at him before closing the door soundly.

Maiko stood outside Shuichi's room with a worried expression on her face. One of her hands was still wrapped around the doorknob. She considered stalking into the room again and demanding that he go work things out with Yuki Eiri but the memory of a misty morning two weeks ago prevented her from moving. She recalled the scene in front of their house; the memory of Shuichi standing at the front door, with a tear-ravaged face and haphazardly packed cases in tow. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

**Two weeks ago **

"Onii-chan?" Maiko was shocked by Shuichi's haggard appearance. Even the last time that Shuichi had come home due to some misunderstandings with Yuki Eiri, he hadn't looked like this. He had been angry and hurt, but not heartbroken like this. She knew that something was terribly wrong. "Onii-chan, what are you doing here?" She had asked quietly as she helped Shuichi move everything into the house.

"I moved out." Shuichi replied in the barest of whispers as he sank into one of the sofas in the living room.

"I gathered as much. But what happened? Is Yuki Eiri being cold to you again?" Anger was starting to grow in her as she studied the exhausted expression on her usually abnormally genki brother. She was beginning to become very tired of Yuki Eiri's attitude to her brother. As much as she appreciated the author's works, she was starting to suspect that he had no idea what love really is. In the past, she had not interfered with their relationship because she saw how happy Yuki Eiri made her brother. In fact, it was not everyday that Shindou Shuichi found something that he loved as much, if not more, than singing. _But this is the last straw! Her features hardened as she grabbed a jacket and marched to the front door._

"Maiko, where are you going?" Shuichi asked with a panicky voice.

"I'm going to find Yuki Eiri and give him a piece of my mind!" She glanced back at her brother, her hands fisted at her sides. "And don't you dare try to stop me!"

"Maiko, please don't!" Shuichi cried out as he walked towards her on legs that weren't quite steady.

"Look at you, onii-chan! Look at what he's done to you!" Tears were starting to form in Maiko's eyes. "I've stood to the side long enough! He's better got a good excuse for doing this to you!"

"Please, Maiko, I'm begging you, don't go." Shuichi dropped his eyes to gaze at the hardwood floorboards. "It's not Yuki's fault, it's my own this time."

"You're always trying to protect him, stop it!" Maiko was starting to see red. 

"No, it's true this time. I walked out of that apartment on my own decision. Yuki didn't do anything; I just decided that I didn't want to continue our relationship anymore. So, please Maiko, don't go see him, its over between him and me."

Maiko paused for a second as she considered his words. A few moments later, her shoulders drooped as she dropped the jacket onto the floor and walked to where Shuichi was standing. Without a word, she wrapped her arms tightly around the thin boy.

"I'm sorry, onii-chan. I'm so sorry." She whispered to him fiercely, deciding to listen to her brother's wishes. She knew that even though Shuichi might have been the one to make this decision, her brother still loved Yuki Eiri desperately. Today she wasn't going to ask anymore questions but she was still positive that Yuki Eiri was still at fault for this fiasco. _Yuki Eiri! You just wait until I get my hands on you!_

*~*~*~*~*~*

Maiko let her hands slip from the doorknob as she made her way back down the dark stairway to the kitchen, where a faint light was still shining. She was about to turn off all of the lights and go back to bed when a small ball of paper on the ground caught her eye. _Shuichi's?_ She wondered as she picked it up and unfolded the mangled paper. Her eyes widened when she read the contents of the page.

Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki. The page was half-filled with that one word, repeated over and over again until the middle of the page. Shuichi had stopped there because the ink was becoming smudged from drops of moisture. _Tears._ Maiko's fist closed on the paper tightly as she shut off the lights and stalked back to her room. _Shuichi may be able to forgive you but I won't!_ She decided that it was way past time for her to pay the writer a visit.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Yuki Eiri stared at the blinking cursor on his laptop's monitor emptily. His mind at the moment was as blank as the white screen in front of him. In fact, he had not written or did anything else for the past two weeks. Pushing himself away from the desk, he took the now cold cup of coffee to the kitchen. He was watching the brown liquid flow down the drain when the sound of the doorbell startled him.

Dropping the coffee cup into the sink, Yuki almost ran to the door. In his heart was a painful hope; a hope that the past two weeks weren't true and that Shuichi and him wasn't over. All he could hear was the loud pounding of his heart as he carefully twisted the doorknob. "Why are you back, brat?" He wanted to kick himself, as he let the words escape his lips out of sheer habit.

"Who're you calling a brat?" The voice that greeted him was not of the singer's.

Yuki felt as if someone had kicked him the stomach, Shuichi wasn't here. Shuichi wasn't coming back. He started to slam the door in the girl's face. 

"No, you don't!" The girl pushed a foot in the door jam as she glared at Yuki.

Her movements reminded Yuki so much of the time that Shuichi had decided to move in with him that he let go of grip of the door, letting the girl stumble into the apartment. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Shindou Maiko." She gazed at him with narrowed eyes. _So this is Yuki Eiri._ She had only seen him on television before and he looked far different from those interviews. In fact, he looked almost worse than her brother. He was unshaven, his hair was mussed, and the dark circles under his eyes were beginning to resemble a raccoon's. She was suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable about the dressing down that she wanted to give him.

_This is Shuichi's sister?_ Yuki studied the slender girl who was currently shooting daggers at him with her eyes. He had heard Shuichi talk about her briefly, but this was the first time that he was able to meet her. There was no question that Shuichi and her was related, they shared the same big blue eyes. Those eyes alone were enough for him to want to toss her out of the apartment right now.

"Get out." He said coldly gesturing towards the door.

"No." She walked up to him and poked him in the chest with one finger. "Not until I finish what I have to say to you."

"Get the hell out!" Yuki's temper was hanging by a thin thread of control as he grabbed her arm, determined to drag her out of the apartment.

"Take your hands off me, you bastard! Is this how you treated my brother? No wonder he left you!" Maiko struggled in his grasp. Looking up at the man who suddenly froze in his movements, Maiko shivered in fear as cold gleam in his eyes pinned themselves on her.

"Say what you want, and then get out." Yuki said as he released her arm and plopped down on the sofa. Lighting a cigarette, he looked at her with one eyebrow raised, waiting for her to start talking.

"All I want to know is why?" Maiko met Yuki's eyes without flinching. "Why did you have to break his heart?" She was startled when all she got as a response from Yuki was a rusty laugh.

"Go home and ask your brother 'why'." Yuki sneered at the girl. "He was the one who packed up and moved out two weeks ago."

"What did you do to him? Onii-chan loves you too much to just leave!"

"Your 'onii-chan' doesn't love me anymore. And it's a good choice on his part." Yuki replied as he rose from the sofa.  "Are you done now?" 

Maiko was about to reply angrily, when the look in the writer's eyes stopped the words from escaping her mouth. There was so much pain in them, that she suddenly felt horrible about coming here and making accusations. "I don't have anything left to say." She sighed as she walked to the door. "But I also came here to deliver this." She tossed the small ball of paper back at Yuki. "My brother wrote that last night. He still loves you, no matter what he or you believe."

Yuki held the ball of paper in the middle of his palm as he watched the girl walk out of the apartment and quietly close the door behind her. Looking down at the ball, he carefully unfolded the notebook paper and read the contents of the page. Afterwards, he set the paper down on the coffee table and walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Stepping into the hot spray with all of his clothes still on, he sank down to the tiled floor of the stall.

The noise from the shower masked the sounds of his sobs as the water mixed with the salty liquid that dripped from his tightly shut eyes.

TBC

Author's Notes: Do I just love angst too much? Well I promise the next chapter will be happier. ^_^;; Err . . . I hope.

Japanese Glossary:

Genki- happy, energetic

Onii-chan- older brother

Yosh- akin to 'Yes!' or "Alright!'


	3. Unraveling the Doubts

Chasing After Me 

A Gravitation Fanfiction

Author's Notes: Gomen! Gomen! Gomen! Sorry it took me so long to release this part! I had a bunch of midterms to deal with so I had no time to write! I swear! I want to thank all of my readers for the TREMENDOUS support from you all, thank you! (and thanks for the lovely gifts!) ^_~ *bows down* 

Clarifications and Responses: I was reading the reviews and thanks for all the comments. I'd like to address one in particular, actually I am aware that I change between tenses when I write, its been a problem of mine ever since high school and I still haven't been able to fix it. ^_^;; My problem is that I don't know where I made the mistakes, so if anyone would like, could you do some grammar editing for me? Or else, I don't think I will catch my mistakes otherwise! If you are interested in becoming one of my beta-readers/editors please let me know in a review or email me at sabrinne@hotmail.com Thanks!

Warnings: Will contain spoilers! And some shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!) Expect some rampant OOCness!

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW. But don't I wish they were mine! ^_~

***~*~*~*~*~***

Sabrinne: *Looking sparkly eyed over the lovely gift she got . . . life-sized poster of Yuki! Oooooo, yummy! And then glances enviously at Eike's chocolate Shuichi* Can I have it now, please, please? 

Shuichi: Wahhhh! You got more presents! I want a present too! Yuki!!!!!

Yuki: Don't involve me brat. All I want to do is to make it out of this story alive.

Shuichi: Meanie! Bri-chan, make Yuki give me lots of presents.

Sabrinne: Ano . . . can I do that?

Yuki: Dammit, can we just get on with the fic?!

Sabrinne: Hai, hai! *sweatdrops* 

***~*~*~*~*~***

Part 3: Unraveling the Doubts 

"La Li Ho!!" Shuichi shouted in a singsong voice as he threw open the door to the recording room with an energetic grin. Jogging into the room, he looked curiously at the current occupants of the room, which included, K, Sakano, and Fujisaki, all of whom were busy staring at him open-mouthed.

"What?" Shuichi scratched the side of his head, confused by their reaction to him. Squeezing between K and Sakano, Shuichi poked at the dumbfounded Sakano, who didn't even blink. Then Shuichi moved on to K, but before he could wave a hand across K's face, he found a silver magnum aimed at his temple.

"Freeze." K drawled in accented English as he cocked the gun in his hand.

A muscle ticked on Shuichi's forehead as he laughed nervously. "Maa, maa, K-san. What's wrong?"

"Shindou-kun, what are you doing here?" Sakano whispered as he tried to get K to lower his gun.

"What do you mean 'what am I doing here'?" Shuichi was getting more confused by the minute. "It's nine, aren't we starting to record the new album today?"

"But . . . but . . ." Sakano sputtered as he looked back and forth between the clueless Shuichi and K who pressed his magnum harder into the singer's temple. "You're twenty minutes too early. Did something happen with Yuki-san again?"

"Early? But it's nine exactly!"

"That's why we're surprised." Fujisaki finally piped up from the corner where he was fiddling with the keyboards. "We've never seen you arrive on time at the studio. Ever. Shindou-san, are you okay?" This was the first time that the keyboardist had sounded worried about Shuichi. 

"Eh, he, he," Shuichi laughed nervously as he backed towards the door. He had never realized that he was late so often. _But now that I finally get here on time, they are annoyed with me! "Maybe I should leave and come back 20 minutes from now?" He suggested as one of his hands fumbled for the doorknob. Finally grabbing on to the metal object, Shuichi twisted it open quickly and fell right into Hiro._

"Shuichi?" Hiro looked down at his best friend curiously. "Oops, am I late?" He laughed nervously as he checked his watch. "Hnm, it must be off." Mumbling to himself, he grabbed Shuichi's arm and led him back into the room. "Gomen, everyone! I just got back from Kyoto, my watch must be off today!"

"Ano, Nakano-kun. You aren't late at all." Sakano smiled at the guitarist politely.

Digesting this piece of information, Hiro turned to look at Shuichi who was giving him an innocent smile. "What happened with Yuki?"

"Nothing." Shuichi said through upturned lips. Seeing the disbelieving look that Hiro was giving him, he sighed. _Well they've got to know sometime or another right? Better now than later. Looking directly into Hiro's eyes, he dropped the bombshell. "I dumped him."_

Jaws dropped around the room, the entire recording studio was silent except for the faint buzzing from the electronic equipment in the room. Everyone was busy staring at Shuichi wondering if their hearing was quite right.

"C'mon, minna, we shouldn't be wasting time like this!" Shuichi said as he walked to the microphone and pointed it at Hiro. "Let's go!"

"But, why?" Hiro was still too surprised to move.

"Can we talk about this later?" The pink-haired singer sent his best friend a pleading look.

Nodding in consent, Hiro removed his guitar from its carrying case and walked into the recording room. "Fujisaki! We're starting now!" He called out to the keyboardist, who finally snapped out of his daze and also made his way to the room.

For the next few hours, nothing was mentioned of the blond writer.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Finally, Bad Luck was allowed to take a lunch break around mid-afternoon. As soon as they left the studio, Hiro cornered Shuichi in one of the empty meeting rooms in the NG Building. 

"Shuichi, what's going on?" Hiro asked as he sat Shuichi down in the chair across from him.

"Nothing." The singer was unable to meet his eyes as his gaze traveled around the room.

"Don't lie to me. Everything was fine when I left for Kyoto, what happened?"

"Oh yeah! How was Kyoto? Did you have a good time with Ayaka-chan?" Shuichi babbled as he tried desperately to change the subject. After the previous night's fiasco when he tried to compose lyrics, the last thing he wanted to talk about was Yuki Eiri.

"We had a lot of fun! Went on dates, met her father, I think I might propose." Hiro babbled on with a faint blush on his cheeks and a silly grin on his face. But the lopsided grin faded when his mind finally got on track again. "Hey Shuichi! Don't change the subject!"

Shuichi chuckled nervously as he realized that the game was up, he'll have to explain to Hiro what had happened with Yuki. "I just came to my senses Hiro." Shuichi said quietly, his head bent so that wispy pink bangs covered his eyes.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Hiro was worried by the look on Shuichi's face as he leaned closer to the singer. He knew better than anyone that Shuichi wouldn't give up on Yuki, the past two years worth of conflicts were proof enough of that.

"I just mean that Seguchi Touma was right." Shuichi raised his face to look Hiro in the eye. "He and Mika-san both told me that we would do nothing but hurt each other in the end. They were right."

"I don't believe that. Don't bullshit me Shuichi, what did he do to you this time?" Hiro's hands were clenched into a fist under the table.

"Nothing, please Hiro, it was my idea to move out. I didn't even discuss it with Yuki. Can we just leave it for now?"

Hiro opened his mouth to protest loudly but he abruptly closed his mouth when he noted the determined look on Shuichi's face. _I think this time Shuichi is serious. How is Yuki Eiri taking this? He snorted as he imagined the condition that the writer was probably in at the moment. __Heh, he's probably smoking a cigarette and sitting at his laptop. Probably doesn't even realize that Shuichi is gone. "Fine Shuichi, I'll leave it alone for now, but are you truly okay without him?"_

"I'm fine." Shuichi then shook his head, he was not used to lying. "Iie, I'll be fine." He corrected his previous statement.

That correction was telling as Hiro stood up and held a hand out to his friend. _Shuichi wants to be freed of Yuki Eiri but can he ever do it? "C'mon, I'll treat you to lunch, we better be quick or else K will be aiming his guns at us again."_

A bright smile appeared on Shuichi's face, replacing the saddened look from before as he grabbed his friend and ran with him through the building. They were both breathless as they reached the entrance to the NG Building. Running out into the bright, sunlit afternoon, Shuichi pulled Hiro along by the hand towards their favorite fast food place. Neither boy noticed the pair of golden eyes that watched from a distance.

Yuki stared as Shuichi said something to Hiro with a sunny smile. _He's already moved on. He can smile and laugh already. Why are you here? He thought to himself as he turned around to lean against the cool concrete on the side of the building. Since this morning's unexpected visit from Shuichi's annoyingly meddlesome sister, he had been feeling restless. The torrent of tears in the shower had helped him clear his head as he realized that he was being a idiot, all he had been doing was feel sorry for himself the past two weeks. The visit from Shuichi's sister was a cold shower, a reminder that Shuichi may still love him, but the singer was probably trying his very hardest and succeeding at putting the past behind him. The past that contain him, Yuki Eiri. _

Taking a drag of the cigarette in his hand, Yuki closed his eyes with a long sigh. He had found himself wandering around the streets of Tokyo aimlessly since midmorning. It was not long after noon that he stood, staring up at the NG Building, foolishly hoping that he would get a glimpse of Shuichi. His heart had leaped painfully when he caught a flash of pink hair coming out of the building a few hours later. He hadn't realized that he'd been starving for just a glimpse the singer, but his happiness quickly dissolved as he watched Shuichi walk off hand in hand with his best friend. _Nakano loves him, probably as more than a friend. He would probably be better for him than I could ever hope to be. Yuki dropped the still glowing cigarette butt and crushed it under the heel of his shoe. Turning around to go back home, he paused when a soft voice a few feet away stopped him._

"Yuki-san I presume?" A short, green-haired boy smiled at him.

Yuki examined the boy closely, he looked oddly familiar. After a few seconds, his brain matched the face with the name as he gave an uninterested nod to Bad Luck's keyboardist. "Fujisaki."

Suguru Fujisaki didn't reply as he studied the writer curiously, his large brown eyes boring into him. Yuki's shoulders tensed slightly as he met the boy's gaze directly. He grew impatient as the boy continued to stare at him with eyes that were far too perceptive. Fighting the urge to turn around and stalk away, he fisted his hands in his coat pocket and spoke again. "What do you want?"

"I heard that Shindou-san left you." Suguru stated as he walked closer to the writer.

_Heh, word certainly goes around fast, doesn't it? Yuki thought bitterly as the corner of his lips turned up into a slight smirk. "Do you have a point?"_

"What did you do?" The accusation flew out of the keyboardist's mouth. Brown eyes widened with surprise as Suguru lifted a hand to his mouth, he hadn't intended to throw accusations at the writer when he had first spotted Yuki Eiri, but the words had come from his mouth against his will.

"Che, you brat. It's none of your business is it?" The blond writer spun around and began to walk away with long strides. 

"It is my business." Suguru spoke calmly. "When it affects Bad Luck, then I make it my business."

"If you're dying to find out, then go ask Shuichi. He knows why, since he made the decision." Yuki said quietly as he turned his head to the side to gaze at Suguru. "Besides, it looks to me that Shuichi is just fine."

"Yes, in fact, Shindou-san sang better than he had for months." Suguru said with a small smirk. Looking into Yuki's eyes, he waited for the man to respond to his silent challenge. _C'mon Yuki Eiri, he pleaded silently, __either prove to me that you are letting Shuichi go for real this time or show me that you still care. His smile fell a little as the blond man turned away coldly._

"Good for him." Yuki spoke as he turned his icy, emotionless gaze from Suguru.

"Is this the attitude you show Shindou-san? No wonder he left you!" Suguru spat out disgusted.

Something snapped within Yuki as he whirled around and stalked towards the petite keyboardist. Grabbing Suguru by the collar of his shirt, Yuki growled down at him with eyes that were molten with anger. "Don't presume that you know everything! I know perfectly well why Shuichi left, and personally I don't blame him!"

"I was right on the mark, eh?" Suguru gave Yuki a mocking smile as he met the taller man's gaze unflinchingly. "Why do you keep your feelings away from Shindou-san? Or am I wrong to assume that you do love him?"

Yuki wanted to tell the arrogant boy that Shuichi meant nothing to him, but he also realized that such a lie he couldn't tell. Besides, the brat already seemed to have figured out everything. _Well obviously he got that damned sense of perception from his uncle. So instead of answering the boy, Yuki set him down on the ground again and looked away. "Say what you want and leave me alone." He stated at he searched his pocket for another cigarette._

"We all know how much Shindou-san loves you. And now I'm sure that you feel the same way towards him. Don't screw things up for yourself this time. Shindou-san still loves you now, but the longer he believes that you don't feel the same, the more his feelings will fade." Suguru crossed his arms on his chest.

"Why are you telling me this?" Yuki sighed, exhausted.

"I care about Bad Luck. At this rate, you will break Shindou-san." Suguru replied. "Shindou-san, he cares deeply for everyone but he, just like everyone else, needs those words every once in a while. Give him something back for once, give him something to hope with."

Yuki hated the sound of Suguru's voice as he took all of the complicated conflicts that he and Shuichi had had and dissected into a single problem. He was a selfish bastard. He was so spoiled by everyone's unconditional love for him after the incident in New York that he didn't care how any of them felt. He used them selfishly and Shuichi was the one that he had used the most. 

"I've said all I've wanted." Suguru said quietly as he turned to walk back into the NG building. "The real question is if you love him enough to risk the truth." 

Yuki watched as Suguru walked back into the building with a thoughtful look on his face. He turned and began to walk away, although on the surface he was cool and careless, the jumble of thoughts and doubts in his mind was slowly unraveling.

***~*~*~*~*~***

Shuichi looked at his watch with a sense of dread. The digital numbers showed that he was going to be yelled at when he got home for sure. The recording had gone so well today, that he and the other members of Bad Luck had hardly noticed the time that had gone by. By the time Sakano had stopped them it was past 11pm. So, to avoid the coming lecture for as long as possible, Shuichi took the long route home.

Half an hour later, Shuichi stood by the railing of a familiar park as he looked up into the night sky. He hadn't even realized that he had to go through this park on his way home when he picked this route. _Yuki and I first met here._ His mind drifted as he recalled the fateful night that he had met the writer. He still couldn't decide if it was the worst or the best day of his life yet. Sighing heavily, Shuichi pushed away from the metal railing that he was leaning on and turned to be on his way again. But a figure standing several feet away caused him to freeze in his tracks.

Yuki walked along the familiar path with a sense of sickening nostalgia. He had wandered through the city most of the day like this as he considered Fujisaki Suguru's words. In the end, he knew what he had to do because the past two weeks that he had barely lived through was proof that he couldn't leave things like this, he had to talk to Shuichi. _Now all I have to do is find him._ He thought with a small smile. _And admit defeat. _It was if his prayers had been heard, when Yuki rounded the corner and spied the person in question. Yuki paused as he stared at the pink-haired singer. In the moonlight, he saw the small details that he hadn't caught during the day. _He's thinner and the expression on his face. Oh god._ He wanted to run over there right then and shake the saddened expression from Shuichi's face. No, his Shuichi was never supposed to ever feel emotions like these, only he was supposed to. Yuki tensed when he knew that Shuichi had finally spotted him. _I will do this! He needs it. I need it._

-TBC

Author's Notes: Hehehe, well sorry about the large amount of author babble in this part. Please, C&C is always welcome! I love feedback from my readers. I accept all comments, questions, flames, and not to mention lovely gifts! ^_~ Part 4 should be up in a week's time or less. 'Til next time everyone! Ja ne!


	4. The Spoken and Unspoken

**Chasing After Me**

A Gravitation Fanfiction

Author's Notes: Yay! Finished and released in one week as I promised ^_~ Enjoy everyone!

Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Anomay for being my very lovely beta-reader! Thanks so much!

Warnings: Contains spoilers, I am assuming you have seen the series or know all of the spoilers!! And some shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!) Expect some rampant OOCness!

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW. But don't I wish they were mine! ^_~

**~*~*~*~*~***

Sabrinne: *Adds chocolate Shu-can to her collection.* Yum . . . hooray, now my next project: Chocolate Ryu-chan! Fun!

Yuki: Can I take a look at the Shuichi?

Sabrinne: *looks at bishie* Did I hear you right? You want my chocolate Shu-chan?

Yuki: Hmn, just hand it over!

Sabrinne: Alright, alright, don't get mad! *gives Yuki a Shu-chan*

Yuki: *mumbles* Annoyingly kawaii . . . annoyingly.

Shuichi: I'm kawaii! Say it again Yuki! Again! *tail wagging*

Yuki: . . .

Shuichi: Wahhhh! Say it again.

Sabrinne: Maa, maa! Stop crying, I have get on with the story . . .

***~*~*~*~*~***

Part 4: The Spoken and Unspoken 

Shuichi swallowed audibly as his gaze fixed on the familiar figure standing a few feet away. The shadows from the almost bare branches of the trees obscured part of the man's face, but the gleam of blond hair was unmistakable. "Yuki . . ." Shuichi whispered as he took a small step back. His whole body was tense while his mind was screaming for him to run. But all of the muscles in his body seemed to be frozen as he stared at the writer with huge, helpless eyes.

Yuki flinched as he watched Shuichi take a step back from him. The look in the singer's eyes was indication enough that Shuichi didn't want to see him ever again. But with Fujisaki Suguru's words still ringing in his ear, he tossed the cigarette that he had just lit and walked towards the motionless boy with determination. 

"Shuichi." Yuki said as he noted the frightened expression on Shuichi's face with a sick feeling to his stomach. "Why did you pick that night of all nights? Why?" He asked as he finally was able to get those words from his throat.

_It's too soon. I can't deal with this yet. Shuichi thought, panicked. But his eyes remained pinned on Yuki as he watched the blonde's mouth move to form words. For a second, he couldn't hear anything as the accelerated beating of his heart created a deafening roar in his ears. __Breathe, you baka, breathe. Shuichi mocked himself as he shook his head slightly, forcing the hysteria away. By the time that he calmed down, he had already missed what Yuki had said; he had only managed to catch the last word to escape those perfect lips. That one word was enough for him to guess at what Yuki had said to him. It was the one question that he dreaded answering. "Why?"_

The silence stretched between the two as Yuki waited nervously for Shuichi's reply. But when no sounds broke from his ex-lover's lips, Yuki began to feel the familiar well of anger bubbling within him. _Control it. Control it! Yuki clenched his hands into tight fists as he fought the tempest within himself. __Baka, if you blow up now, you're never going to get another chance. But those words of warning came too late as he burst out. "Answer me Shuichi!" He shouted as he took another step towards the boy, now he was so close that he could see the violet flecks in those large blue eyes that were fixed on him._

"I, I –" Shuichi stuttered as his mind scrambled to find a satisfactory answer. He couldn't give Yuki the real reason. Telling the man he loved how much torment that he had gone through to make his decision would mean that he'd lose the little pride that he had left, and his pride was the only thing that he had left. "Yuki, my relationship with you interfered with the band, I felt that it would be better if I focused on the band for now. You know how fame is, one moment you're successful and the next you're not." Shuichi babbled, hoping that it was a suitable explanation.

"Don't lie to me." Yuki said with annoyance, calling his bluff. "Tell me the real reason!" He demanded harshly, his hands reached out to grip Shuichi's thin arms tightly.

"I'm not lying to you!" Shuichi replied, but his averted gaze belied his statement. The look that Yuki gave him showed that the writer did not believe a word that he said. "Why do you care anyway? I thought you'd be happy to have this annoying brat out of your life!" Shuichi cried out as his eyes began to blur with unshed tears. "Leave me alone Yuki! Why do you have to haunt me like this? Please leave me alone!"

Yuki stood stock still as he stared down at Shuichi's trembling lips and soft, watery eyes. All he could hear was Shuichi's voice begging him to leave him be, repeated over and over again, until it became a litany in his mind, taunting him. "Shut up!" He whispered fiercely, out of instinct, he did the first thing that he could to silence the still babbling Shuichi, he covered the singer's mouth with his own. All sounds from the singer stopped save for a small surprised gasp.

Shuichi's mind was blissfully blank, as he froze mid-sentence. Time seemed to stand still as his eyes met Yuki's directly. He willed himself not to respond to the feel of those painfully familiar lips caressing his own. Staring into golden eyes that dared him to pull away, Shuichi found himself unable to tear away as he slowly registered the fact that although Yuki's lips were touching his, they weren't moving. _I can't give in to this, if I do, all that I have done in the past weeks will have been for nothing. Shuichi thought with stubborn determination as he hardened his lips and tried to turn his head away. But even as he made a move to break the contact between them, the dynamics of the kiss suddenly changed. No longer were the lips that were pressed on his still, instead they moved almost shyly over his, coaxing hopefully for a reply. Without even realizing it, Shuichi felt his knees weaken as he leaned slightly into Yuki's hands, which were still gripped onto his thin arms. Everything part of his mind was screaming at him to pull away, but at that moment, he felt incredibly tired and he wanted, no, needed, to borrow Yuki's strength for a minute. Closing his eyes, he fell forward and was caught in a warm embrace._

Yuki's shoulder's sagged with relief as he watched the internal battle in Shuichi end through those blue eyes that spoke of his every emotion. When Shuichi's eyes drifted shut, Yuki gave a small moan of happiness as he released the singer's arms and wrapped his arms more securely around the boy instead. The blood within his veins was singing as Shuichi responded to his shy advance and settled into his tight embrace. Deepening the kiss, Yuki thought of nothing else more, as he reveled in the taste of his lover's lips. In that moment, all seemed to be right in the world.

All too soon, Yuki and Shuichi broke apart as both of them gasped for air. Yuki glanced over at Shuichi whose head was still buried into the crook between his neck and shoulder and a cold shiver passed through his body. His fear was confirmed when Shuichi raised his eyes to look at him. Guilt was creeping into still slightly glazed blue eyes at an alarming rate. _Say it, say it you coward! Yuki opened his mouth to say the words that he had intended to say the moment he had spied Shuichi standing in the park where they had first met, looking so forlorn that it made his heart ache even worse than it already was. But no sound escaped his throat as panic set in. All of his old fears of vulnerability choked away the words that were caught in his chest. _

"Yuki?" Shuichi whispered in a hoarse voice as he waited in the silence, hoping foolishly that Yuki would say something that would make everything all right again. Hoping that Yuki could possibly say the words that he desperately needed to hear. But the sounds of the night were only broken by the sounds of their ragged breaths. 

_What have I done? Shuichi thought guiltily as he pushed away from Yuki's now loose embrace. __It's over between you and him, remember? Tonight should be proof enough of all that you have feared. Yuki was only attracted to you; he could never love an annoying brat like you. He has no plans to ask you to come back! A small snide voice in him taunted him as he backed away from Yuki, one step at a time._

"I'm sorry, Shuichi." Yuki said in an almost inaudible whisper as he continued to fight the beasts within himself.

"No, no, no!" Shuichi shouted as he lifted a hand and sent it crashing into Yuki's cheek. "No! Don't say anymore! Don't tell me 'you're sorry', I don't want that from you!" _Shit, what did I just do? Shuichi looked down at his hand, which was still throbbing painfully and the reddening mark on Yuki's cheek. Whirling around, Shuichi ran._

Yuki stood still staring at the bright spot of pink hair and orange jacket that was slowly disappearing from view. His left hand was still touching the painful spot on his cheek as he leaned back into the railing on the edge of the small path. Only the metal structure was holding him up as he finished the sentence that he couldn't finish in front of the person that he loved. "I'm sorry Shuichi, I wanted to tell you sooner. I love you."

***~*~*~*~*~***

Shuichi opened the front door to his house quietly as he wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his jacket one more time before walking into the darkened hallway. _All the lights are off, thank god! He sighed with relief as he crept to his room; he didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment._

"Onii-chan . . ." A small, ghostly voice whispered from the corner sofa in the living room.

"Kyaaaaa!" Shuichi almost jumped out of his skin as he whirled around to stare at his sister, who was lounging in one of the chairs. "You scared me again!" He hissed at her in his cat mode, tail fluffed out and hair standing on end.

"That's what you get for coming home so late!" She lectured haughtily as she turned on one of the small lamps on the end table.

"Oops, gomen!" Shuichi bowed, his cheeks tinged with a faint blush, he had completely forgotten that no normal person kept hours like Bad Luck did. 

"Aa, are you hungry still? I think that we had some leftovers from dinner still left in the fridge." Maiko said as she turned to look at her brother with a smile. The smile faded quickly as she noted the disheveled hair, swollen cheeks, and puffy, red eyes. "What happened to you?" She demanded, even though she had a pretty good idea as to what happened to her brother or whom he had met.

"It was nothing." Shuichi mumbled as he looked down to the ground and eyed a mysterious speck of non-existent dust on the floor. 

"Yuki Eiri again?" Maiko was not willing to let go of the subject. She had thought that she had talked some sense into the writer this morning, but it looked to her that absolutely nothing had been solved. _That bastard! How did he screw things up this time?! She wondered._

"No, that's not it. We just had some problems recording today."

"Do you know how bad of a liar you are onii-chan?" Maiko walked over to Shuichi and led him into the kitchen. "I won't press you for any answers, but have you eaten yet?"

"I don't know." Shuichi thought back to the day, he didn't remember going to get anything to eat since Hiro took him out to lunch. Suddenly, his stomach growled loudly, the sound reverberated in the room as Shuichi's face turned a tomato red.

"Obviously not." Maiko smiled as she heated up the food and set it out in front of him. "Eat this and go to bed. I'll call NG tomorrow and tell them you're not coming in."

Shuichi, who had already dug into his food, perked up when he heard 'NG' being mentioned. "Buf I'm gowing to wfork."

"Don't talk with your mouth full!" She smacked the back of his head lightly. "You need your rest onii-chan, I don't care what your boss is going to say, I'm not letting you out of the house tomorrow!"

Swallowing the mouthful of rice, Shuichi gave the girl a small salute. "Hai, hai!"

"That's better, I'm going to bed now, don't forget to soak the dishes in water before you go to bed!" Maiko said over her shoulder as she walked back to her room.

Shuichi watched his sister leave the room with a small smile on his lips. He hadn't realized how much he missed her presence since he had moved out until now. _She's a good kid, but then she couldn't go wrong with a brother like me, right? He thought proudly. Quickly polishing off the rest of his plate, Shuichi dumped the dishes into the kitchen sink as ordered and filled the bowls with water. Walking to his room, he dreaded every step. It was going to be another sleepless night of many._

***~*~*~*~*~***

Yuki unlocked the door to his apartment slowly as he walked into the dark and cold apartment. _Che, I must have left a window open or something. He thought with annoyance. Instead of investigating where the open window was, he walked to his small office and sat down at the desk that he usually sat at when he wanted to get some writing done. Flipping on the laptop that had been mostly untouched for the past two weeks, he waited in the darkness for the computer to boot up._

Yuki put on the glasses that he usually reserved for reading as he opened up the word processing program. Staring at the blank page, he leaned back into his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. In his mind, he still saw the pained torment on Shuichi's face; it haunted him even more than the tragedies of the past. _Don't you think its past time to bury those ghosts? He thought as he tapped a finger on the keyboard. In fact, he thought that he had gotten over his fears when he visited Kitazawa Yuki's grave more than a year ago, but now, he was not so sure. The memory of past tragedies still prevented him from doing what was right, what he needed to do. Slowly he began to type, pushing down on each key on the keyboard almost hesitantly. Soon the room was filled with only the sound of fingers hitting plastic._

Dawn broke over the horizon and caused Yuki to halt in his writing. Glancing down on the page, he reread what he had written in the past four hours. The words on the page leaped at him, they were beautiful and flowing. It was the best and most difficult piece that he had ever written. Saving the small file, he pushed his chair back and walked to the bedroom. Collapsing on the bed, he pressed his face into the pillow and slept. Although the work was not even close to being done, he slept peacefully, for the first time in two weeks.

-TBC

Author's Notes: Yay! All done! You won't believe the kind of writer's block I had for this part, I hope I didn't mess up the kiss scene that much. I know that the "I'm pissed, so I'll kiss you" plot device is cliché, but hey, no matter. Anyway, thanks everyone for reading! As usual, please review or email me! I love getting feedback from readers, flames or compliments! ^_^ 'Til next time, ja ne!


	5. Reminders

Chasing After Me 

A Gravitation Fanfiction

Author's Notes: Hey it's part 5! Well, no comments really . . . just read on! ^_^ - UNEDITED VERSION

Warning: Spoilers for the entire series and shounen ai. (duh! It's Gravi!) Also expect some rampant OOCness!

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW. But don't I wish that they were mine! ^_~

*~*~*~*~*~*

Sabrinne: *gazes lovingly at her chocolate collection* Well . . . I accept other gifts too . . . ^_~ Though that chocolate Tatsuha looks mighty tempting.

Ryuichi: Chocolate Tatsuha, where? Where?

Sabrinne: Ryu-chan, when did you get here, you're not even in my story!

Ryuichi: Exactly why I am here! Why am I, this kawaii superstar not in your story?!

Sabrinne: Eh he he. *Laughs nervously* 

Ryuichi: Well? *Raises Kumagoro threateningly*

Sabrinne: Ack! Here's the next part everyone . . . *Runs away*

*~*~*~*~*~*

****

Part 5: Reminders

Shuichi glanced around Seguchi Tohma's spacious office with a sulky expression. The luxurious furniture, colorful paintings, and breathtaking view within the large room spoke volumes about the young president's exquisite taste, and not to mention enormous amount of wealth. Turning his gaze to Hiro, who was seated next to him, Shuichi tugged on the other boy's sleeve. "Ne, ne, Hiro, why are we here in Seguchi-san's office?" 

Hiro only gave Shuichi a small but nervous smile before turning to look out at the skyline view of Tokyo downtown. "Patience, Shuichi, is a virtue." He quoted.

"Hiiirrooo!" Shuichi whined as he gripped the piece of cloth harder within his fist. "You're being mean!" Sensing that Hiro was not going to give him any information, Shuichi moved on to Suguru, who sat on the other side of him. But after one look of the keyboardist's closed expression, Shuichi sank back into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. Fujisaki Suguru was a lost cause. 

Minutes ticked by as the tension rose rapidly in the room in the absence of Seguchi Tohma. Shuichi by this time had become a small puddle of nerves as he fidgeted in his chair. _Why did Hiro and Fujisaki drag me all the way here so early this morning?_ He wondered as he looked down at the neatly trimmed nails of his right hand. The morning had started out normally when he arrived at the studio at nine on the dot. But the moment that he stepped into the recording room, Hiro and Fujisaki ushered him up to the president's office with nothing more than a few telling glances and secretive smiles. It was the smiles that were driving Shuichi insane. Shuichi absolutely abhorred people keeping secrets from him. 

"Sorry to have kept all of you waiting." The soft voice of the NG president rang out clearly as he pulled open the door that led to his office. Calmly, he walked to his desk and sat down in the plush chair. Linking his fingers together he smiled directly at Shuichi and the rest of Bad Luck. "I have both good and bad news."

Shuichi, whose thoughts were disrupted by the sudden entrance of Seguchi Tohma, looked at the blond man curiously. _Good and bad news?_

"Have you considered our request?" Hiro asked almost hesitantly as he sat up straighter in his chair.

"Yes, and that is the good news. Your request has been approved." Seguchi Tohma said with a faint smile. "But the bad news is that you have three weeks to be ready. I want to hear a brand new single from Bad Luck by then." He added as he raised an eyebrow, almost as if he was challenging the band.

"We will do it." Suguru said as he uncrossed his legs to stand up from the chair. "You'll have that single in time."

"Huh?" Shuichi glanced between Suguru and Hiro who both seemed to know what was going on at the moment. "Ne, ne, what approval, for what?" he looked hopefully at Tohma for answers.

"Oh? Nakano-san and Fujisaki-san didn't tell you?" Tohma managed to look amused by Shuichi's bewilderment. "Bad Luck will be doing a live concert to promote your new CD in three weeks. The concert will be at Zepp Tokyo, and as I said before, I need a single from you before this concert."

"Live Concert?" Shuichi's eyes began to fill with happy tears as he jumped up from his seat. "Don't worry Seguchi-san! We'll get that single to you right away!" Fisting his left hand, Shuichi raised it his right and formed a "V" with his outstretched fingers.

Even with his excitement, Shuichi didn't miss the looks of relief that were passed between Hiro and Suguru. Sitting back down in his chair, he only barely listened to Seguchi give them the details of the concert. _Hiro and Fujisaki, they must has noticed how down I was this week._ Shuichi realized that after his encounter with Yuki in the park last week, he hadn't been able to record as he had the first day they came back from the break. It wasn't that he didn't want to record, but as much as he wanted to sing, he just wasn't able to do so, at least not well. _If I hadn't run into Yuki. If only I hadn't given in to that kiss. If only I hadn't let myself believe in that moment there was a future for us. If only . . . If . . ._ His mind was full of those sentences, the what-ifs that haunted him day and night. But this concert that Hiro and Fujisaki had asked Seguchi Tohma for approval for would be a welcome distraction for Shuichi. _Thank you._ Shuichi thought with a small smile as he turned to look first at Suguru and then Hiro. 

"I believe that that's all of the details I can provide for you at this time." Seguchi ended his small speech with another lukewarm smile. "Any questions?" There was silence in the room as the Tohma looked at the band members. "None? All right, then you may all go, except Shindou-san. May I speak to you privately?"

Shuichi saw Hiro tense visibly from the corner of his eye as the redhead opened his mouth in protest. But his words were cut off as Shuichi placed a hand on his arm and gave him a pleading look that asked him not to fight with Tohma. Hiro acknowledged Shuichi's request and stalked out of the office with Suguru following close behind him. With the final slam of the door to the office, Shuichi was left alone with the producer.

Several uncomfortable moments of silence passed before Tohma said anything to Shuichi, only the sound of Seguchi Tohma clearing his throat lightly broke the silence. "Shindou-san, I believe that you know why I requested this private meeting with you." 

Shuichi nodded as he felt dread climb up his spine. He knew exactly what Seguchi Tohma wanted to speak to him about and it was the one thing that he didn't want to talk about.

"I heard that you and Eiri-san are no longer living together." Tohma paused, waiting for Shuichi to confirm this fact. He was seemingly satisfied by the look on Shuichi's face as he continued. "Are you sure about your decision?"

"Ha-, hai." Shuichi stammered. He winced when he heard the indecisive tone of his voice.

"You don't sound like you are, Shindou-san." Tohma had also picked up on the hesitant sound of Shuichi's answer. 

"Seguchi-san, I don't think that my personal relationship is any of your concern." Shuichi replied cautiously, he was sick of Seguchi Tohma questioning him every time there were problems between him and Yuki.

The producer looked a bit surprised by the forcefulness of Shuichi's answer. He quickly hid the emotion in a smiling mask as he leaned closer to the singer, his eyes glinted under the dim lights of the office. "When Eiri-san is involved, then it becomes my concern, whether you like it or not."

Shuichi sucked in a deep breath as he returned the other man's gaze. A chill ran down his spine as he watched the ruthless glitter within those aqua-blue eyes, it contrasted horribly with the angelic features of the man. _This is a person I don't want to make my enemy._ Shuichi thought with a small amount of discomfort, but fear or not, he wasn't about to disclose information about him and Yuki to the other man.

"I can tell that the rumors are true and frankly, I am somewhat disappointed." Seguchi Tohma continued.

"Why are you disappointed? I thought you would be the one who would most approve of my decision!" Shuichi blurted out unintentionally.

"Oh I am quite happy, let me assure you of that." Tohma said in a soft and amused voice. "I am glad that I have Eiri-san all to myself now, but I don't approve of anyone hurting him."

Shuichi tensed when he heard Seguchi Tohma's words. He always had the niggling suspicion that the producer felt a little more than friendship towards Yuki, but after hearing the confirmation through his words, he felt irrational anger course through his body. "You leave Yuki alone!"

"Why? Because he's yours?" Tohma laughed quietly at that, as if the mere thought was extremely absurd.

Shuichi wanted to reply with a fiery retort, but the words were lost in his throat as he felt coldness run through his body. _Seguchi-san is correct. I don't have any right to say that. Yuki's not mine anymore, I was the one that didn't want him, didn't want us._ Bowing his head down in defeat, Shuichi looked at the patterns on the thick carpeting and rose to his feet. "Seguchi-san, if you have no more to say to me, I'd like to leave now."

Seguchi Tohma studied the boy before him with a mixture of anger and annoyance. Anger that the boy seemed to love Yuki Eiri just as much as he had while they were still together. Annoyance that he had no choice but to give Eiri up to this naïve idiot. "I don't have anymore to say to you. You may leave."

"Thank you, Seguchi-san." Shuichi replied quietly as he turned away to walk from the office. Twisting the knob, he walked out into the hallway and quietly closed the door behind him. Shuichi turned to head in the direction of the elevators, but his path was blocked by another person that he hadn't wanted to see, Seguchi Mika.

"Hello, Shindou-kun." Mika said, as she scrutinized the singer's carefully composed face. After a few moments, she let out a small sigh. _Looks like my idiot husband got to talk to him first._ "Whatever Tohma said to you, it isn't true." She continued, pleased by the startled look on Shuichi's face. "I wanted to talk to you later today, but I guess now is as good of a time as any. I want you to start over with Eiri." She stated plainly.

"Huh?" Shuichi blinked as he tried to absorb what Mika had just told him. _She wants me to be with Yuki?_

"I know that Tohma and I have never approved of your relationship with Eiri, but I've changed my mind. My brother loves you and is happy with you. That is all I ever wished for him. So, please, I am asking you to consider becoming his lover again."

Shuichi laughed softly at the turn of events. He never would have thought that Mika would ask him to go back to Yuki. Seguchi Mika had always warned him that his relationship with Yuki will end in both of them being hurt, and when he finally believed that she had been right, she took back those words. 

"Mika-san, you're wrong about one thing. Yuki doesn't love me. He's attracted to me, yes, obsessed with me, maybe, but he isn't willing to feel anything more for me beyond that. You and I both know that I still love him, but I can't be in the same relationship with Yuki any longer."

Mika looked startled for a moment, as she listened to the unusually serious words of the singer. After his small monologue, she smiled to herself. _My baka brother, he's really dug himself in a hole this time. If he wants Shuichi back, he'll have no choice but to reveal all of himself to him. This experience will be good for him, as long as Shuichi is willing to give him a chance._ "Shindou-kun, do you really believe that my brother doesn't love you?" Mika asked in a soft voice determined to get her point across.

"Yuki has always kept me at arms length. What else am I to believe?"

"You and I both know of what happened to Eiri in New York. Do you think that he truly will be able to share everything that you want him to share with you? You are the only person who has been able to get close to him. You have made more progress with him in 2 years than I have in almost 10 years, and I am his sister, his family. If Eiri were truly just attracted to you, he would have been bored with you a long time ago. Shindou-kun, Eiri loves you, that is one thing that you should never doubt. Though he may never say the words you want to hear from him. But as long as you can live with that fact, then I believe that you can be happy together. Eiri's past may have rendered him completely unable to say or even believe that he can love again, please understand this. I am begging you." Mika ended her words with a sad smile. Without waiting for Shuichi's reply, she walked past him and into her husband's office.

Shuichi stood rooted into the ground as he watched Mika disappear into the office. After listening to her reasoning, he felt absolutely terrible. She could be wrong but the worst possibility in his mind was that she maybe right. Then, it would mean that he had hurt terribly the person that he loved the most in this world. Walking to the elevator, Shuichi mechanically pressed the down button as he stared into the ground. Mika's words had left him a lot to consider. No matter what, he would have to deal with them.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mika closed the office door behind her and leaned into the cool wood. _I can't believe that I said all of that to Shuichi._ She thought with a faint smile, her musings were interrupted by the sound of her husband moving his chair back and the sound of feet striding across the office to stop in front of her.

"I take it that you had a good discussion with Shindou-san." Tohma looked at his wife with some amusement.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a 'discussion' Tohma. I did all of the talking." Mika laughed softly. "Do you disapprove of my actions?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Does it matter?"

"No, not really." 

Tohma smiled at her reply, he had no doubts that Mika would defy him. At least their marriage wasn't boring that way. "Did you have something to speak to me about, Mika-san?"

"Nothing really, I was just hoping to see Shindou-kun." Mika replied as she turned around to leave the office. "I also wanted to know if you were coming home today for dinner."

"I'm going to be out with some of our sponsors tonight. I'm going to be home late." Tohma replied politely as he walked back to his desk and sank into his chair with a sigh.

"All right, then I won't wait up. See you!" Mika answered with a bright smile as she walked out of the office. _I guess not everything will work out for me today._ She thought wistfully. _Tohma, someday I'll make you see the truth._

Tohma leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. Slowly, his hand reached for the phone as he considered canceling the dinner with the sponsors. It had been weeks since he had eaten at home and it was about time that he did, but before he could pick the receiver up, the phone rang.

"Hello? Seguchi Tohma here." He answered politely, he rarely got phone calls on his private line.

"I have a favor to ask you." The voice on the other side sounded.

Tohma recognized the person even without identification. "Eiri-san, it's a pleasure to hear from you. Of course, I will do anything for you."

"I need you to deliver an item to Shindou Shuichi." Yuki said after a short period of silence.

"All right, I will arrange it." Tohma replied. His voice was polite, betraying nothing.

"Thank you. I will drop by sometime next week with it." Yuki said before hanging up.

"You're welcome. Good-bye." Tohma finished the conversation to the sound of the dial tone. Setting the receiver back into its cradle, Tohma picked up one of the many files on his desk. Pushing away all of the events of the morning, he sifted through the papers, his mind was focused only on the matter at hand. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Shuichi stepped out of the elevator to be greeted by K, who was toting a particularly dangerous looking gun and Sakano, whose tears were threatening to fall at any moment.

"K-san, Sakano-san?" Shuichi looked at the two with a puzzled expression.

K and Sakano looked at each other and then looked at Shuichi. Seconds later, they burst out laughing.

"Huh?" Shuichi wondered if the two had lost their mind.

"Nothing, nothing." The two of them said as they grabbed Shuichi by the collar. "Now get back to work, you have to get that single done in 3 weeks remember?" They said in unison with each other, as they pulled the singer along.

Shuichi smiled happily as he was dragged willingly. _K and Sakano, they came to rescue me from Seguchi Tohma._ He stifled a giggle at the mental image. "Hai, hai! I'm working, working okay?" For now Shuichi would focus on the band, but he would have to deal with his personal life soon.

-TBC

Author's Notes: So how did you think of this part, well things are wrapping up soon, errrr, I hope. Thanks for all of your lovely support! Remember to R&R! ^___^ 'Til next time! Ja ne!


	6. Promises

****

Chasing After Me

A Gravitation Fanfiction

Author's Notes: Many apologies, but personal problems, writer's block, and school caused this terrible delay. My thanks for all who emailed me with encouragement and reviewed this fic, you know who you are, this chapter is dedicated to all of you. UNEDITED, if anyone has time for editing, let me know, my regular beta-reader is having problems with her computer

Warnings: Will contain some spoilers, shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!)

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW.

****

Part 6: Promises

*~*~*~*~*~*

Fujisaki Suguru cocked his ears to the side much like a puppy when he heard rhythmic thumping coming from the adjoining wall of the studio. Curious to the nature of the sound, he crept out of the studio and opened the door to the small office by a crack. In the dimly lit room, he could see a pink haired head fall against the wall again. 

*Thump* *Thump* *Thump*

Suguru's head fell forward slightly as he let out a pained sigh. Shindou Shuichi was having writer's block. Again. Stepping into the doorjamb, he was about to push the door wide open when a blur knocked him, face first, into the wooden panel. Rubbing the spot on his forehead where it had smacked into the door, he glared at the offending newcomer.

K looked back over his shoulder with eyes widened, innocently large. "Oops. Sorry Fujisaki-kun, I didn't see you there." His tone was less than apologetic.

Suguru stamped down a irritated retort by lifted his chin up and giving K a cold look.

A long whistle sounded from the manager's lips as he did his best wounded look. "Maa, maa. Fujisaki-kun is so mean to me! Don't you even have the smallest feeling of forgiveness for your loved manager?"

"No." 

Large tears threatened to fall from wet eyes as K turned to Shuichi for comfort. "Fujisaki-kun is so cold!" Sniffling, he resembled a much larger version of Sakuma Ryuichi minus Kumagorou. 

Shuichi, still slightly startled by the violent entrance of K and Suguru, patted K's back with a dazed expression on his face.

Crossing his arms across his chest, Suguru just shook his head in frustration. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were in a meeting with Seguchi-san."

A highly suspicious grin lighted on K's face as he dug through the shopping bag that he held. "I brought something for Shu-chan's writer's block." As if the endearment of Shuichi's name wasn't enough, a pair of imaginary fox ears popped up from K's blonde head. He pulled out a large container of red liquid and several glasses with a huge smile. Pouring liberal amounts in three glasses, he handed one to Shuichi and Suguru, leaving the last for himself.

Suguru sniffed the contents warily, he didn't trust K at all. But the red liquid smelled alright as he tentatively took a small sip. Surprisingly, the liquid tasted of strawberries with a light, curiously pleasant after taste. Taking a larger mouthful, he turned his head, and saw Shuichi happily gulping the drink and K just as happily pouring more into the singer's cup.

"This is pretty good!" Shuichi grinned as he took another drink from the cup, grateful for the small break that K was providing him. When K had first come in, he had thought that the manager had come for another update on the new single. He wondered what kind of hell he would have gotten from the blonde when he told him he had to throw away another draft. None of the lyrics he had written in the past week had been any good and they had to start recording by the end of next week.

"Ready to write again?" K laughed loudly, slapping Shuichi in the back.

"Hai, hai!!" Shuichi lifted his glass to the question.

Several moments later, Shuichi was on the table passed out.

Suguru looked between Shuichi's sprawled figure and K's knowing smile. "What did you give him?" He demanded and quickly threw the rest of his glass away. 

"K's special writer's block mix." K replied with a wink.

Picking up the container holding the juice, Suguru swayed a little as the contents started to effect him. "How much alcohol is in this thing?"

"Se-cr-et!" K dodged as Suguru made a lunge for him. "Calm down, Shuichi is just getting some much needed rest from this lyric writing business." His expression turned serious.

Slumping down in the only other unoccupied chair in the office, Suguru brushed back some of the pink strands of Shuichi's hair in time to watch a small line of drool drip onto the table. Grimacing, he shot K with a calculating look. "Something has to be done."

K nodded in agreement. "That's what I thought you would say."

"Oh? You sound like you have a plan."

"Of course! Ha Ha Ha." 

Suguru recoiled slightly with the laugh, it made him nervous, and rightly so too. 

"I think its time to share what we know." K said with a glint in his eye. "I saw you talking to Yuki Eiri the other day, what did he say?"

"The man's hopeless." Suguru shook his head sadly after recalling the conversation from several days earlier.. "But he also definitely loves Shindou-san." 

"Then there is hope." K flashed a toothy grin. 

"Not if they never talk or see each other again." Suguru replied glumly, as soft snoring escaped from Shuichi's gaping mouth. "And I don't think Shuichi will go to see Yuki Eiri again, at least not willingly."

"What about unwillingly?" The blonde manager smiled evilly.

A nervous look later, Suguru tentatively shifted his full attention to K and lifted one eyebrow. "I suppose you have a good idea to get them together?" 

"Well he's not in any condition to argue with us right now, is he?"

Suguru slapped a hand to his head in frustration, mussing his usually perfect hair. "Baka, he's also not in any condition to talk things out with Yuki-san, either."

"That does pose a slight problem doesn't it?" K rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But I trust that Yuki is smart enough not to take this chance we're giving him for granted. Besides, we can just leave him somewhere until he wakes up, by then, he should still be complacent."

Silence ensued in the room as Suguru worked out the details of what K was suggesting.

"You want to leave Shindou-san here passed out and then deliver him to Yuki Eiri's doorstep??" Suguru exploded as he mulled over the sheer idiotic simplicity of the plan. "It's . . . it's"

"It's what?"

"It's positively barbaric!" Suguru shook his head. "But it might work." and then conceded.

"My thoughts exactly!" K laughed deeply and slung Shuichi's limp body over his shoulder. "Let's go!"

"Where are you taking him?! I thought we were going to wait until he was at least slightly coherent before taking him to Yuki-san's." Suguru sputtered.

"Are you kidding me? God knows what our Shu-chan will unleash on us, if he ever figures out that we were the ones to deliver him to Yuki. I have a much, much better plan." K said as he and Suguru made their way to the elevators. "You see, Fujisaki-kun, actually may I call you Suguru-kun?"

"No." Suguru was still as cool as ever.

"Mean!" K cried. "Suguru-kun is so cold!" 

Suguru felt a muscle begin to tick violently in his forehead. "Now WHAT is your brilliant plan K-san?"

"Oh yeah." K scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "You see, I have this friend who owns a Karaoke bar . . ."

*~*~*~*~*~*

The karaoke bar was empty save for a few late night stragglers singing with drunken cheerfulness. The lone waitress winced slightly as she passed by a especially loud table when a middle-aged man tried to hit a note that only a soprano could have made. The incident was quickly forgotten, as this was usually a nightly occurrence, but as she reached a small booth in the dimly lit corner of the club, her brows furrowed. 

"Would you like to have something to drink?" She inquired politely to the back of a young man with a shock of bright pink hair, noting the lack of glasses on the table.

She gave a startled gasp when the figure slowly turned around with a ghastly look on his face. The dark circles underneath his eyes was illuminated clearly in the lighting. 

"Where am I?" He groaned, head obviously spinning.

"You're at a karaoke bar, sir." She squeaked when she recognized the face.

"Karaoke? How did I end up here?" He mumbled to no one in particular.

"Shindou-san, I don't think you should have anymore to drink." She replied gently, noting the nonsensical speech and the flushed cheeks. Remembering the odd note that she received from her boss earlier in the night, she dug the small scrap of paper from the pockets of her uniform.

__

'The customer at the corner booth, he will need a ride home when he wakes up. Send him to the following address.'

Her eyebrows lifted at the address, it was in a fairly ritzy part of Tokyo.

Helping the young man into his jacket, she left him swaying in the booth humming a happy tune to call the cab company. Several minutes later, she returned to the table and walked with him to the entrance of bar.

"Where am I?" He asked in a puzzled tone, repeating a question that he had asked not too long ago.

"You're going home, sir." The waitress smiled softly.

"Home? Don't really have one." He replied, plopping down on the pavement.

The waitress frowned, but her confusion was short-lived as she realized that the singer was probably too drunk to know what he was talking about. Helping him into the backseat of the cab, she quickly gave instructions to the driver. It wasn't until the cab's lights had disappeared into the distance before she walked back into the building.

Everything seemed to be a blur as Shuichi stared out of the window of the cab. Several minutes later, the world seemed to stop moving at such a frantic pace as a strong pair of hands helped him out of the seat. Fumbling for his wallet, Shuichi was about to pull out some bills to pay the driver when he finally glimpsed his current location. Looking up at the apartment building, he recoiled slightly, dropping the wallet. However, he had no choice but to follow as the cab driver dragged him towards the building.

"Do you have the key?" The driver asked gruffly, he hated to see young people drinking themselves to such a stupor.

"This isn't my home!" Shuichi struggled weakly.

The cab driver only sighed as he searched on the intercom for the apartment number, after several buzzes an irritated man's voice came over the line. 

"What?" He barked.

"Sir, I have your son here." The cab driver guessed at the nature of the two's relationship. The only reply he got was a click and then the dial tone. Had it been anyone else, they would have given up, but this driver was coming from an all night shift and was less than pleased with this last customer. He pressed the buzzer several times again.

"What?" The same voice sounded over the intercom.

"I don't know who this person is to you, but he wanted to be sent here. Come down and get him."

There was silence on the other side. Several moments later the front door opened to reveal a blonde with mussed hair in a loose shirt and slacks. 

The cab driver thrust the boy at him.

Yuki Eiri just managed to catch the small body in surprise. Looking down at the pink head that was lolling on his shoulders, he almost threw the boy back at the driver, but he only paid the man and slammed the door closed rudely. Carrying Shuichi's limp body upstairs, Yuki laid Shuichi on the couch that he used to inhabit. Brushing pink strands away from his face, he resisted the urge to grab the fragile body and hold it close.

Shuichi blinked slowly as he managed to open his eyes after a while, the exchange outside passed by him completely as he zoned out. His eyes widened as he recognized the figure huddled over him. His struggle to get away was quickly aborted as Yuki pressed on his shoulders, forcing him to lay back down.

"This is all a dream. This is all a dream." Shuichi repeated to himself. The last thing he remembered clearly was being at the studio working on the single and sipping on some drink that K had brought over. "If this is dream, then I can do this." He looked up at Yuki with brighter eyes, before putting both of his arms around the writer's neck and pulling him lower.

Looking up at the face that he remembered and loved so well, tears threatened to fall as he spied a gentle expression that he had never seen before. _This really must be a dream._ He thought. _Yuki would never have looked at me like that._

Yuki felt Shuichi's body loosen ever so slightly, before a small, cold hand reached back to caress his cheek. He flinched as ice cold skin made contact with his, Shuichi always had the warmest skin, it was a harsh contrast to how he had been. Reaching up, Yuki enveloped Shuichi's hand in his much larger one, rubbing the skin as if to warm it.

Shuichi's eyes drifted shut as he basked in the warmth of Yuki's touch. _Yuki's usually so cold._ He thought sadly. He gasped loudly when his body came into full contact with almost unbearable warmth. "I've been so cold." He whispered to no one in particular as he gave a small shiver. The dream Yuki only held him tighter, bringing their bodies into a sweeter embrace.

"When will I let go?" He asked the dream Yuki in an almost inaudible whisper.

"Soon, soon, I promise, love."

Shuichi shuddered as the endearment tore through him. _Why do dreams have to be so different from reality?_ He wondered, wishing that his alarm will jerk him awake.

Basking in the warmth that surrounded him, Shuichi refused to let his dark thoughts interrupt this wonderful feeling. Slowly, his felt his heart beat and breathing even out and he wondered if one could fall asleep even in their dreams. Before he gave up consciousness he thought he heard words being murmured in his ear.

"What if I don't want you to let go?"

He sighed. _What if I don't want to let go?_

But all Yuki heard was a short murmur as Shuichi fell into a deep slumber.

"Good night, love." He whispered. And when he was sure Shuichi was asleep, he kissed the soft forehead. "Good bye love."

As dawn broke over the horizon, bathing the awakening city with its pale golden light, the only evidence that anyone had laid upon the sofa was a single pillow on the floor of the apartment. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Shuichi rubbed his head as a sharp stab of pain shot through his brain when he moved a little bit too fast. _This was K's writer's block relief?_ He looked around the room with squinted eyes, he was sprawled all over the table in the recording studio. _Did I stay here all night?_ He wondered glumly_. Probably, K and Fujisaki must have left ages ago_.

Stretching his body out, Shuichi slumped back into his chair as memories of the previous night's dream filtered into his sleepy brain. _I have such an active imagination._ He smiled sadly. Before he could analyze anymore, he was startled by the sight of K and Suguru stumbling into the room.

"Wow, thanks K-san for the 'writer's block releaser'." Shuichi said with a knowing grimace.

K-san ran a hand through his hair and laughed long and hard. "No Problem!" replied in heavily accented English.

If Shuichi had not be distracted by the sight of Sakano stumbling in as well, he would have noticed the pained looks that were passed between K and Suguru.

"Shindou-san!" Sakano cried, hurrying over to the singer. "Did you stay here all night?"

"I think so." Shuichi replied as he straightened out in his chair. "K-san gave me his special remedy for writer's blocks. IF he ever offers it to you, refuse." He warned still holding his head. "I think I'm ready to go back to work now." 

"Good, good." The producer nodded and handed Shuichi a large glass of water.

"Thanks."

*~*~*~*~*~*

After escaping to a small equipment room, Suguru and K looked at each other and groaned.

"I totally overestimated that cold bastard." K ground out.

Suguru nodded his head in agreement. "At least Shindou-san has no idea of what we did."

K agreed with a grateful shake of his head. "True, true. Shall we try again then?" He continued with a mischievous grin.

The green haired keyboardist gulped loudly. "Not today, K-san. Not today."

"Hm. Okay Suguru-kun."

"K-san!!"

*~*~*~*~*~*

Several minutes later, Shuichi was startled by a tap on his shoulder as Sakano held out a telephone receiver. Bouncing in his chair, Shuichi answered the call enthusiastically.

"Moshi Mosh!"

"Shindou Shuichi! Where were you last night?" His sister's infuriated voice could be heard clear across the room and caused Shuichi to jump up from his seat.

"Gomen, I was at the studio all night. I think I fell asleep after K brought over his special recipe for getting over writer's block."

Her voice went strangely quiet. "I got a call from a cab company, they have your wallet. So where were you really? Did you have any idea how worried I was about you? Then the cab driver complained to me about some rude, blonde man. Did you go see Yuki Eiri?"

Shuichi let the phone drop to the floor as he looked down impassively at the receiver. _Last night, was a dream, wasn't it?_

__

Soon, soon, I promise, love.

What if I don't want you to let go?

Good night . . .

love.

He could barely hear his sister's confused voice as he picked up the phone again. "Nee-chan, I'll call you back."

"O-, okay." Maiko's voice was still confused as she let him go.

Shuichi sank into the chair that he had occupied moments before. Slumping forward, he heard only one voice, one phrase, one meaning.

__

I promise, love.

*~*~*~*~*~*

A brightly lit computer screen reflected off a pair of wire rim glasses as slim fingers typed up several emails. Saving several word processing documents, Yuki Eiri removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose between two fingers. His novel was finally finished. Staring at the manuscript, he almost ripped the neat stack of papers into pieces. He had already decided that this novel would be his last romantic story.

Picking up the phone, he quickly dialed the number that Seguchi Tohma had given him days ago.

"Hello. Tokyo travel." A cheerful female voice answered the call.

"I need a plane ticket."

The woman faltered at the cold, uninformative line. "Where would you like to go sir, and when would you like to leave?"

"New Y-, no make it Los Angeles." He answered, it was time to make a new beginning and that meant no ties to the past. "In two weeks."

"Will you be needing only one ticket sir?"

"Yes."

A moment of silence ensued as the woman typed in search information. "What name will the ticket be under?"

"Uesugi Eiri. Put the bill on my credit card." He spoke quietly telling the sales woman the numbers and expiration date.

"Alright sir. We have made a reservation for you in exactly two weeks, flying directly to Los Angeles. The flight will be taking off at 7:30 p.m. Thank you very much for using Tokyo Travel. Do you have anymore questions sir?"

Yuki hung up the phone without replying.

Leaning back into his chair, he looked up at the ceiling of his apartment_. Two weeks and I'll be out of Shuichi's life forever._

Closing his eyes, he let the memories come.

-TBC

__

Completed 12.25.2002


	7. A Gift

****

Chasing After Me

A Gravitation Fanfiction

Author's Notes: Thanks everyone for reviewing so far. Things are quickly wrapping up, yay! 2 more parts left, thanks for having patience. 

Warnings: Will contain some spoilers, shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!)

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW.

****

Part 7: A Gift

*~*~*~*~*~*

Seguchi Tohma sat in front of his desk glaring at the paperwork piled up, waiting for him to go through it. Picking up the first file, he barely read through one page before one of his assistants knocked sharply on the door.

"Come in." He spoke, voice cool and confident. His eyes narrowed a little as his wife strolled in. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Mika-san?" He inquired politely as his wife sank down in one of the sofas across from his desk.

"Now a poor, loving wife can't miss her husband?" Her simpering look was grossly out of place as she adjusted the lapels on her neat business suit.

Tohma only closed his eyes briefly as he counted to ten. Mika had been acting this way ever since Shindou Shuichi and Eiri had their break up. Before he could question her anymore, another knock sounded on the door.

"Come in." His voice sounded again, this time laced with no small amount of irritation.

Heavy footfalls fell on the carpet as a tall, blonde man walked in. 

"Eiri!" Mika coughed out with a shocked look on her face. "You look terrible!"

Yuki Eiri only spared her a glare that held half the vehemence that it usually carried. "What are you doing here?" He growled.

Mika rolled her eyes as she looked between the two men in the room. She wished desperately to knock some sense into both of them. "I'm married to him!" She pointed an accusing finger at the president of NG studios.

Both men gave her a raised eyebrow that clearly meant, 'so'? 

Shaking her head, Mika sank down into her seat and fumed silently instead, while the men exchanged knowing looks.

"Eiri-san, what can I do for you today?" Tohma smiled as he folded his hands together.

"I called you a week ago about a package I wanted delivered to Shindou Shuichi.'

"Yes?"

Yuki handed him a manila envelope. "Tell him to consider it a good-bye present from me."

"Good-bye?!" Mika sputtered as she stood up, standing between Yuki and the door, just in case he tried to make a run for the door before she could question him.

"Yes, I am leaving for Los Angeles in two weeks."

"Does father know about this?" Mika felt her heart turn over as she inspected her brother's worn out features.

"He will."

"When?"

"When you tell him." 

Mika sputtered in anger again, even though her brother was definitely worse for wear, his bad attitude was still safely intact. "He won't be happy you know, Eiri. Neither will Tatsuha."

"Frankly I just don't care what he thinks." Eiri said coldly, turning to leave. "All Tatsuha needs is that little child from your boy band." Directing the statement towards Tohma.

"Wait! Eiri! Can't you give yourself some more time. He will come around you know. And this time I think there is enough understanding between you two to actually make it work." Mika held her breath and would have crossed her fingers if she thought she could get away with it , as she waited for Yuki's reply. Her heart sank as Yuki turned to gazed at her through half shuttered eyes.

"Don't interfere with my decisions Mika." He warned before stalking out of the office. But before he fully closed the door, Mika thought she heard him speak softly in a defeated tone. "Nothing will change. Its for the better."

Letting out her held breath, she sank towards the floor and leaned her forehead down to the plush carpeting. "Do you think I did the right thing?" She asked softly, almost afraid to hear her husband's answer, hoping that it would be an honest answer instead of the sarcastic comments that he enjoyed making.

"Do you really want to know what I think?" He asked quietly.

She could hear his shoes making soft sounds as they sank into the carpeting.

"Yes." Her answer was an almost inaudible whisper.

He sighed. "No. I think you never should have interfered."

A tear slipped down her cheek as she turned her face to the side. She could detect the faint aroma of Tohma's cologne wafting in the air as he walked closer. "Do you really love him that much?" She shuddered as she waited for the answer that she had been afraid to receive for many years.

"Yes. I love Eiri-san. I love him very much." Tohma's reply was quick and succinct. Effectively tearing his wife's heart into a million little pieces.

Turning her face to meet her husband's, rage burned in her eyes as she lifted a fist and hurtled it into Tohma's pretty face. "Damn you!" She cried when her arm was caught by Tohma's strong hands and she was pulled into a tight grasp. 

Tohma felt hot liquid soak through his silk dress shirt as he held the woman in his arms close. Bending his head next to her ear, he whispered to her softly. "You never were a patient girl, Mika-san."

She looked up at him with startled eyes, noting the soft smile gracing his lips.

"I love Eiri-san. But not the way that you believe I love him. I told you when we first met that I would marry only for love, I don't lie." He made his meaning perfectly clear as he captured her mouth in a passionate kiss.

"Promise me, Tohma, promise me." Mika gasped between breaths as Tohma carried her to the large sofa.

"Promise you what?" 

"Never call me Mika-san again." 

"That's all?" He asked, surprised that she had been disturbed by his politeness. "Alright, Mika, is that better?"

"Much." She smiled, eyes sparkling with traces of her previous tears. "Now," she said softly and whispered into Tohma's ears with a bright blush.

"Oh really?" He muffled his laughter into her neck as he held her closer. "I would be more than happy to oblige."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Shuichi was glumly staring at a piece of white paper as Hiro and Suguru wandered back and forth across the room. They were still waiting for Shuichi's moment of inspiration. Chewing on the cap of a blue ink pen, Shuichi suddenly stood up from his perch, startling both Hiro and Suguru, almost causing them to collide.

"I'm going for a walk." He stated as he stalked out of the room. Leaving behind an increasingly annoyed Hiro and Suguru.

Just as Shuichi slammed the door closed, he walked straight into Seguchi Tohma. _Oh for all of the bad luck in this world!_ Shuichi considered trying to make a run for it before tossing the idea aside. Grimacing, he directed his gaze into the ground until the NG president cleared his throat loudly. Shuichi gave a loud squeak when he looked into the serene, smiling face of the president.

"Sorry! Seguchi-san! The single will be ready as planned!" Shuichi bowed deeply, scared to the bone by the abnormal cheerfulness in the president's eyes.

"Calm down. Shindou-san, I'm perfectly sure that you'll have that single done in time. I just have a package and message for you." Tohma's eyes turned serious as he put a manila envelope into Shuichi's hands. "Eiri-san said to consider this his good-bye present to you." He spoke clearly before turning to walk away.

Shuichi froze as he gripped the envelope tightly within his fists. 

"I will never approve of your relationship with Eiri-san." Tohma declared softly into Shuichi's ear as he paused in his exit. "But, he is leaving for Los Angeles in two weeks. Do with that information as you wish."

Nodding at the NG president, Shuichi acknowledged the peace offering. "Thank you Seguchi-san." He looked to the corner of his eye but the blonde was already gone.

Fumbling with the envelope, Shuichi managed to rip it open. All it contained was a short hand written note and one typed page. Scanning the note, Shuichi bit his lip to prevent a sound from escaping from his lips.

__

Shuichi. Consider this one last thing I can do for you. You must be having writer's block right? You always do under pressure, baka. Please use the lyrics that I have written as you wish, you will find it much better than the elementary school level of your writing. Good-bye Shuichi, I wish you the best of luck with your career and in life.

-Y.

Turning to the next page, Shuichi read through the lyrics, his eyes welled as he read the perfect words. "You are a lousy love song writer, Yuki." He whispered softly. _Good-bye? Not after what you told me, I still have a score to settle with you!_ Anyone who happened to walk by the lead singer of Bad Luck at that moment would have seen a rare sight indeed, a true smile gracing the lips of the young man. Ripping the hand written note into small pieces, Shuichi tossed the offending scraps into the nearest trash bin. _This isn't over Yuki. I won't let you take the coward's route. I won't let myself take the coward's route any longer!_

With determination suffusing his every movement, Shuichi strode back towards the studio giving a loud whoop that could be heard all the way down the narrow hallways of the building.

Suguru and Hiro both gaped at him as he jumped, hopped, and bounced into the studio. They were equally surprised when Shuichi slapped down a piece of paper.

"It's our single, Hiro, Fujisaki-kun." Shuichi declared proudly.

Hiro and Suguru huddled together, read the lyrics quickly, and then gave Shuichi a suspicious look. Their whispers were easily heard as they shook their heads at the paper and decided that there was no way Shuichi could have written something like this.

"Guys!" Shuichi looked hurt as he grabbed back the sheet. "Of course I didn't write it, my own words would have been better. But we'll make do with this song."

Exchanging an exasperated look, Hiro and Suguru only sighed and went about to tune their instruments. They were sure of who the mysterious author of the lyrics were, however, they did not know what it would mean for the future of Shuichi and Bad Luck. But they did see the new Shuichi, nearly bursting with energy, looking much like his old self, that in itself was enough for them to breath a little more easily. Things were looking up.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"And it's a wrap!" K and Sakano gave a delighted shout as the recording of Bad Luck's new single was over, just in time for the concert.

Shuichi, Hiro, and Suguru posed for a group picture as cameras flashed.

Soon champagne bottles were opened and the first drinks of the night were passed to all of the members of the cramped studio. 

Before everyone could trap him into a drink, Shuichi managed to duck out. Grabbing his jacket, Shuichi gave his watch one last worried look before heading out to his last destination of the day before going home. Being that the concert was the next day, he knew he needed a lot of rest and to strengthen his mental resolve. Not for the concert of course, he loved singing and was a natural at it. The resolve was for after, or what he hoped would happen afterwards.

Stopping at a very familiar apartment building, Shuichi pressed the buzzer before he could lose the nerve. As he listened to the dial tone on the intercom, Shuichi hoped for, yet dreaded the familiar voice that would answer. His heart gave a hard leap as a gruff voice sounded through the speakers.

"What?"

"Yuki. I have something to say to you." Shuichi stammered.

Silence ensued for several moments before a solemn reply sounded. "I'll be down in a second."

Shuichi waited patiently as the door was swung open, his knees weakened at the sight of Yuki, rumpled but just as desperately good looking. He noticed the softening to Yuki's eyes as the writer waited for what he had to say. Shuichi breathed deeply and convinced himself once again that he wasn't making a mistake. "Bad Luck is having a concert, tomorrow night, 7pm. Zepp Tokyo." He babbled in one long string of words before thrusting the concert ticket into Yuki's hands. "I'm done with playing this game with you. Be there." He quickly ran off before Yuki could reply, leaving the writer looking blankly at the ticket in his hand.

"But, Shuichi, my flight is tomorrow night." Yuki answered to the empty night sky.

Closing the door to his apartment building, Yuki knew it was time to let it go without any regrets, or to face all that Shuichi had to tell him. The choice was alarmingly easy.

-TBC

__

Completed 12.26.2002

A/N: The Mika/Tohma loving part of me did a happy little cartwheel, yay!


	8. The Concert

****

Chasing After Me

A Gravitation Fanfiction

Author's Notes: Thanks to Anomay for being my very faithful beta-reader and all of my reviewers for all of your encouragement. All comments and criticisms are welcome!

Thoughts: _Thoughts_

Warnings: Will contain some spoilers, shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!)

Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW. All rights to the lyrics of "Heart of the Sword" belongs to TM Revolution and their respective producers - thanks for making such a great song, Bri-chan just is not a lyricist. ^____^;;

****

Part 8: The Concert

*~*~*~*~*~*

The night of the much anticipated Bad Luck concert dawned clear and cool. The whisper of winter was obvious in the chilly wind that blew past young girls waiting to be let into the auditorium. Judging by the crowd that was already clamoring in their best club outfits, the concert was a sure sell out. While Zepp Tokyo was definitely ready for the Bad Luck concert, Bad Luck was not quite prepared.

Currently, Fujisaki Suguru and K were mumbling to each other in one of the dressing rooms. Anyone who passed them would have been surprised by the camaraderie that had popped up between the two. Given Suguru's cold personality, and K's excessive love for things loud and shiny, in particular guns, they were thought to be the last two people who would get along. Though, if they had known what the two were talking about, they would have been even more surprised.

"Suguru-kun!" K exclaimed as he dragged the keyboardist into one of the empty dressing rooms.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?" Suguru shook his head with frustration.

"At least I haven't called you Su-chan." K scratched his head for a moment. "Would you like me to call you Su-chan instead?"

"No!" The thundercloud hovering over Suguru's head was growing larger and more threatening by the minute. "K-san, do you have something really important to talk to me about? You know, the concert is in half an hour."

"Hai, hai!" K looked extremely proud of himself as he pulled Suguru closer, whispering as if telling a huge secret. "Considering that you're my partner in crime, thought you might like to know that Yuki Eiri has a flight out tonight."

"He's leaving?!" Suguru yelped. He gave a pained but resigned sigh as all that he had worked for seemed to be tumbling down.

"Maa, maa Su-chan." K winked, "I also know that Yuki Eiri's plane is not heading anywhere tonight. You know engine error can be very dangerous and will take a lot of time to fix."

"You didn't!"

K only grinned smugly, "Let's just say our young writer is not going anywhere anytime soon."

Suguru only shook his head in shock, he was just glad that he didn't have K as an enemy. Who knew what the man can and will do? "Er. Sounds good K-san." He inched away from the blonde nervously.

"Break a leg Suguru-kun!" K-san exclaimed as he slapped Suguru hard on the back. "I'll be making sure that the first place our little lead singer will be headed to after the concert is the airport." His eyes glinted as he pulled out a deadly looking silver magnum.

Suguru was now frantic to get out of the dressing room as he watched K stroke the weapon lovingly. But despite the dangerous looking weapon and any leftover reserve he still had towards the manager, he put a hand gently over the gun. "K-san. Thank you."

K only smiled as he aimed the gun toward the mirror on the dresser in the room. "Good Luck."

*~*~*~*~*~*

While K was giving Suguru an update to what was going on, Maiko was watching Shuichi pace around his dressing room quickly becoming a pool of nerves.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!" Maiko rolled her eyes as she called his name out for the fifth time. 

"Wha?" Shuichi looked at Maiko startled, only the last shout having gotten through to his brain.

"Onii-chan, the sound check is over, both Fujisaki-san and Hiro has been waiting outside for you." She stated crossing her arms. Although Shuichi was known to be nervous before a concert, he was never this nervous. "Are you okay, Onii-chan?"

"Yes, yes." Shuichi waved a hand as he made final adjustments on his outfit. Which composed of a pair of excessively silly but cute cat ears, black mesh shirt, his usual long orange jacket, and a pair of skin tight black vinyl pants. Even as he assured his sister that he was just fine, Shuichi felt the butterflies fighting within his stomach as he gulped loudly. 

Maiko shook her head as she smacked her brother on the side of his head. "Baka. You'll be fine." She had a feeling that Shuichi's nerves wasn't just about this live concert, and if she was right about why he was so nervous, she would be doing a victory dance not too soon in the future. Things were going to be okay, as long as the stupid author doesn't mess up again.

She waved happily as Shuichi walked out of the dressing room with Hiro and Suguru.

"What's she so happy about?" Hiro whispered to Shuichi as he gave Maiko a narrowed stare.

Shuichi only shrugged, too caught up in his own nerves than to analyze his sister's suspicious behavior.

"Never mind." Hiro put an arm around Shuichi shoulder, noting the complete lack of attention that the singer was giving him. "You'll be fine, Shuichi. He'll be here tonight."

Shuichi whipped his head to stare up at Hiro, who was doing his best sly grin. "How did you-?"

"I'm not your best friend for nothing." Hiro laughed loudly, before returning to a much more serious tone. "Shuichi, good luck tonight, give him your best."

"Mm!" Shuichi nodded in agreement. He was definitely going to give it his best, Yuki was not going to get out of this one without Shuichi giving him a piece of his mind. 

Throwing his arms around Hiro and Suguru, Shuichi led them in a run as they broke through the side of the stage into the center. Cheers and squealing resounded through the auditorium as fans went wild at the sight of the band. The lead singer however was looking for only one fan in particular.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hi Everyone! Thanks so much for coming tonight!" Shuichi shouted as he waved to the crowd. His eyes scanned the throngs of people for one person in particular. But no sign of the author was present as Hiro began strumming the introduction.

"Tonight, I'd like to begin with a brand new single-" Shuichi's voice faltered as a door in the back crept open, revealing a familiar blonde.

Both Hiro and Suguru looked up at Shuichi and noted the direction at which the singer was looking. 

"Shuichi! The intro is over!" Hiro reminded him with a wink. Suguru only gave Shuichi a thumbs up, before turning to mouth something to the manager.

"Hai hai!" Shuichi was suddenly energized as the stage seemed to crackled with excitement. "Minna! I'd like to introduce Bad Luck's new single, 'Darkness of Dawn'!"

As the music started up, Shuichi looked through the crowd once more before fixing his gaze on the lone figure leaning against the back door. He sang. For him.

Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo

Yoake no mama de, koesou de

__

When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.

And I must still go over into the darkness of dawn.

Butsukatteikya kokeru omoi yo

Konya mo mata, sure chigai

__

If I try to play it straight, it will no doubt fail,

And tonight it won't go well between us again.

Sanzan sugite doryoku no ato mo

Naku naru kekka, only no tsuna watari

__

You can't see all my hard efforts, because it's only result

Is that it makes no sense. It really is a "tightrope".

Yaru dake son suru yona, mainichi wa

Sha ni kamaeteta hou koso, raku ni naru

__

More effort, more damage--this is my daily life.

Taking a cynical attitude may give me some comfort...

Atsukute, tsurai jibun wo kakushite, mijikai toki wo ikiteru

__

Hiding myself, heated and irritated; living only a short time.

Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo

Yoake no mama de, koesou de

__

When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.

And I must still go over into the darkness of dawn.

Hottokeba, hashiru omoi yo

Yume mo mata, sure chigai

__

If I let my emotions free,

My dreams will once again not go well.

Kanpeki to chau, jinsei no shuushi

Puramai zero da nanteba honto ka na?

__

I think the balance sheet of my life is imperfect.

If I add up the plusses and minuses, will it really equal zero?

Shinu made ni tsukaikiru, un no kazu

Semete, jibun de dashiire wo sasete

__

I want to control all my luck

That may be used up before my life is ended.

Wakacchainai, kimi nara dou ni demo, rikutsu wo kaete ii noni

__

You don't know--you can change logic at your will.

Nando kimi ni, ketsu mazuitemo

Modottekichau, aijou ni

__

I hurt myself because of you, over and over;

But my love didn't go away--it kept coming back.

Shinjikaneru, utaretsuyosa yo

Konya mo, soutou nemurenai

__

Your toughness gained from my damage is unbelievable.

I won't be able to sleep at all tonight either.

Nando nankai, kurikaeshitemo

Modottekichau, ai dakara

__

However many times it's repeated,.

It revives again and again--because it's love.

Butsukatteiku, kesunu omoi wo

Semeru hou ga, suji chigai

__

You can't blame my emotion,

Because you should know it will never fade away.

Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo

Yoake no mama de koeteyuku

__

When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.

And even though I'm in the darkness of dawn, I have to go.

Aishou yori mo, fukai futari wa

Sure chigatte kamawanai

__

I don't care about "bad affinity".

Even if our love is not doing well,

Nevertheless we are deeply tied.

The crowd was unexpectedly silent as the band struck the last chord. Several moments later, ear deafening cheers resounded through the audience. Bad Luck's new single was sure to become a number one hit. The rest of the concert went as a blur for Shuichi, Hiro, and Suguru as they performed the singles from their previous CD. 

In the audience, several people were watching with pride as the band performed what could have been called their best ever. When Bad Luck finished their last song, a few of those eyes were even a little wet as they clapped and cheered along with the rest of the fans.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mika looked towards her husband who was clapping politely as Bad Luck bowed to the fans. She smiled happily as she glimpsed from the corner of her eye that Yuki was standing a few feet away. "Ne, Tohma, Eiri came!" She held out her right hand, palm up, with a smug look on her face. "Pay up."

Tohma gave her a pained look as he dug out his wallet from the pocket of his jacket. Slapping a few bills into her open palm, he sniffed lightly.

"Maa, maa Tohma, You're such a sore loser." Mika smiled as she stuffed the money into her purse and threw an arm around her annoyed husband. "You know, you should have been happy that Eiri came tonight, or else I would have had you be the get away driver when I 'escort' him from the airport."

Tohma shot her a look full of irritation as he shrugged, making the point known that he would never have stooped down to use kidnapping as a ploy. But he couldn't resist an upward tilt of his lips as he entwined their fingers together. "You know, I still think it would have been the best if Eiri-san left the country."

"Oh Tohma, you never give up do you?" Mika rolled her eyes as she faced the stage once more. "You would have lost both a great band and someone you love in the process. Shuichi has changed Eiri in ways we never could."

Tohma only answered with silence as they watched the crowd begin to make a exit from the building. "I suppose. You may be right." He mumbled almost to softly to be heard.

Mika smiled as her proud husband conceded to probably his only defeat. "Lets go home."

"There's still a lot of work I have to get done tonight."

She raised an eyebrow at him and proceeded to drag him towards the exit. _Life will definitely be more interesting from here on._ Tohma thought as he acknowledged the second concession of his life.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Maiko watched with a tearful smile as her brother finished the last song. But when she tried to walk towards the stage, she was startled to bump into a dark haired young man blocking her way. Turning to apologize, her mouth gaped as she stared at another Yuki Eiri. "You! You dyed your hair!" She accused with a pointed finger.

The young man looked pained as he put his arm around the girl and gave her a lecherous smile. "Don't confuse me with my baka brother, Uesugi Tatsuha at your service, pretty lady." He was startled as she gave out a peal of laughter.

"Oh please." She gasped between giggles. "You better remove your arm, or that man over there might try to use his stuffed bunny to take off my head." She warned with a wink. Shuichi had mentioned Tatsuha many times before, and of course his horrible crush on the lead singer of Nittle Grasper. Maiko was further amused as Tatsuha spun around and transformed from a suave seducer into a happy little puppy in seconds, just as Shuichi had predicted.

"Sakuma-san! You came tonight!" He cried, rushing over to the man's side.

Maiko's cheeks flushed warmly as she spied the teenager successful try to grope his idol. She would have attempted to escape the awkward moment when a bright pink bunny popped into her line of vision.

"Maiko-chan!" The stuffed animal wagged its head at her.

Maiko shook her head. Singers were a strange breed. Very strange. "Hai?" She could hardly believe that she was talking to a stuffed animal.

"Look over there!" The bunny pointed towards one of the side doors of the auditorium.

Maiko's gaze landed on a tall, blonde figure and she smiled broadly. Grabbing the bunny, she gave it a big kiss. It definitely looked like Shuichi won't be needing a ride from her to get home tonight. Giving Ryuichi a wink, she blew him a kiss as well. "Don't let that seducer get you alone." She teased, pointing an accusing finger at Tatsuha. 

"Why you little!" Tatsuha looked like he was about to burst a vein as Shuichi's sister skipped away, losing herself into the crowd leaving the building. His only deterrent from chasing her down and throttling her skinny neck was Ryuichi's hold on his waist.

"Calm down, Tatsuha-san." The singer soothed. "Besides, Kumagorou and I wanted to know what you were doing later."

Tatsuha's eyes went all round and shiny as he looked down at the smiling man and stuffed animal. "Nothing. Nothing at all, Sakuma-san!"

"Good, in that case, I know of a great club that I've wanted to check out." 

Tatsuha thought he had died and gone to heaven as he stared dreamily into his God's eyes. "Sounds good, Sakuma-san." He replied.

Ryuichi grinned impishly as he pulled the teenager along with him. Kumagorou, Tatsuha, and him were going to have tons of fun!

*~*~*~*~*~*

Suguru and Hiro were busy accepting congratulations from the Sakano, K, and the rest of the staff as they finally were able to return to the back stage area. Both of them noted with delight at the very obvious absence of their other band member. Things were definitely looking up for Bad Luck and their lead singer. Hopefully, a resolution will be made tonight.

"Hiro!" Ayaka rushed in quite out of breath, tripping on several electrical cords before landing in the guitarist arms. "I'm so sorry I missed the concert!" She apologized, "There was quite a fuss at the airport, something about a faulty plane. It affected all of the flights tonight." Hiro helped her to her feet as he gave the rest of the people surrounding them a wave.

"I hope you won't mind if I took off a little early."

"Of course not!" K boomed out, "As long as you promise to show up on time to work tomorrow."

Hiro sputtered. "But, K-san! We just finished a concert, don't we even get a day off?"

"No." The manager lifted his gun out of his pocket to enforce his words. 

Hiro shuddered as he ushered Ayaka quickly out of the door. "I swear that man is as crazy as they come." He told her quite loudly.

Suguru had to grab K's shoulder holster to prevent him from hunting down Hiro. "Its already your fault that Ayaka-san wasn't able to make it to the concert." He stated as K turned on him.

"Oh yeah." K patted the back of his head and laughed sheepishly. "I guess Nakano-kun is saved. This time."

Suguru only shook his head at the sheer immaturity of the man. "K-san, it looks like we won't need your plan after all." He stated crossing his arms across his chest coolly.

"Mission completed." K returned his gun back to its holster, before extending a hand towards Suguru. "Good working with you."

Reluctantly, Suguru returned the handshake, when he thought about it, K wasn't so bad after all.

"Now, Suguru-kun, no, wait! Su-chan, its time to party!" K laughed evilly, dragging Suguru behind him. "I have a special drink I made just for you Su-chan! Its called 'K's special Party Mix'!"

Head drooping, Suguru took his words back, K was that bad. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Shuichi looked miserably up at Yuki as they stood at one of the stage entrances of Zepp Tokyo. All of his brash thoughts seemed to have fled when he was finally face to face with the man that had make life both wonderful and unbearable.

"Yuki." Shuichi began, only to falter when Yuki pinned him with a piercing look. Shuichi shrank back intuitively expecting a harsh retort or cruel insult.

Yuki noted the fear in Shuichi's eyes with a sinking feeling in his heart and disgust at himself. He forcibly softened his features and spoke calmly. "I'm here. Shuichi. I won't run away again." 

Shuichi smiled startled by the change in the man standing in front of him. The Yuki he used to know would never have replied so. 

"Let's take a walk." Shuichi suggested, stepping into the cool night air. Satisfied with the sound of footsteps following behind him, Shuichi walked on and braced himself, for he was about to throw open a door that he had never even dared to peek through before.

-TBC

__

Unedited

Completed 12.27.2002

A/N: Weeeee! One more part left! Thanks again for your support!


	9. Chasing After

Chasing After Me  
A Gravitation Fanfiction  
  
Author's Notes: Many thanks to Anomay again for being such a wonderful beta. All comments and criticisms are welcome! This is the last part guys! Sorry I lost the formatting here due to some upload errors! Please enjoy!  
  
Thoughts: *Thoughts*  
  
Warnings: Will contain some spoilers, shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!)  
  
Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW.  
  
Part 9: Chasing After  
  
Yuki breathed in deeply, he felt like his world was lying on a very thin line when he stared at the slim back of the young man walking ahead of him. At that moment he wished that he had a cigarette in his pocket to calm his almost shattered nerves, but with the time he spent tying up loose ends with his publisher he hadn't even remembered to buy a pack of cigarettes. The publishing house was disappointed to know that he would be taking a leave of absence, but they were placated with the beginning of a manuscript that Yuki has started before his breakup and the promise that Yuki would finish. It was just too bad that they had no idea that Yuki Eiri was never planning to write a romantic novel again. He had been thinking of branching into another genre.   
  
Looking ahead, Yuki wanted more than anything for Shuichi to look at him, do anything. This quiet was so uncharacteristic of Shuichi; it frightened him to even think of Shuichi without his boundless energy and motor mouth. He almost broke the silence himself, but he didn't know what to say or where to even start, there was too much between them. *C'mon Shuichi, give me a headache with your endless chatter; I'd rather suffer through it right now. At least I'll know that you're okay.*   
  
Shuichi paused suddenly. His shoulders shook a little as he shivered when a gust of wintry wind blew by. Yuki wasn't sure if he shook with cold, similar nerves, or just plain disdain. When the singer's body turned, Yuki knew that he was about to find out.  
  
Shuichi blinked as a passing car shed bright light into his eyes. The same bright beams shook him from the automated walk that he had started. *What are you doing Shuichi? What happened to your resolve? Yuki is not running and it's also time for you to start facing him and yourself.* He calmly reminded himself. If Yuki had been startled by Shuichi's sudden turn to face him, he didn't show it as they paused in front of a darkened shop.  
  
"I called you out here tonight." Shuichi paused, looking for the right words to say. Words that won't make him sound so pathetic and needy.  
  
"I know why you called me out here tonight." Yuki spoke solemnly, relieving Shuichi of his internal struggle. It was obvious that he was able to read every thought going through Shuichi's mind at the moment. Looking directly into Shuichi's startled eyes, Yuki continued in an oddly detached voice. "You want to tell me about all of the times I hurt you, every time I stomped your emotions into the ground right?"  
  
Shuichi swallowed audibly, waiting for the imminent insult or the cold, cruel laugh. None came as Shuichi stared up defiantly at Yuki, refusing to back down from the silent challenge in Yuki's eyes. "Yes! That is exactly what I wanted to tell you!" The silence was shattered like thin ice over a mid-winter lake, revealing all of its perils.  
  
Yuki flinched at Shuichi's words, it was not anything less than what he had expected, but it hurt just the same. He suddenly wished that he could go back to the days when he was still numb but he braced himself for the worse instead, for it was what he deserved.  
  
"I wanted to tell you how much you hurt me every time you shut me out." Shuichi cried out, horrified by the sting of tears that he never wanted to shed for this one man again. "I wanted you to know how much it hurt to look in your eyes and see nothing. No laughter, no emotion, no hope. Dammit! Was I amusing? Did I fulfill some sadistic desire within you? Is that why you kept me around for so long?"  
  
Shuichi shuddered as he took a deep breath, but his diatribe was far from over. "Every time I tried to walk away, I thought, he must be able to come around, some day he will. And I would come running back. No more, Yuki, no more. If I had learned one thing from our farce of a relationship, it was that I couldn't make you feel. I can't make you believe in us, I can't make you love me, I couldn't even sleep in your bed without your permission."  
  
While the final words seemed grossly out of place in the heated statement, but it summarized exactly how deeply Yuki had damaged the boy in front of him.   
  
"I'm sorry." Yuki said softly as he took a step closer to the shivering boy.  
  
"You're sorry?" Shuichi's face contorted into laughter while his eyes betrayed the tumult of emotions coursing through his body. The release of all he had felt was both sweet and bitter. "Don't be sorry, I don't want you to be sorry, you selfish bastard! I want you to give me back everything you stole from me! I want to be the Shindou Shuichi that I was; I want to know myself again! I want my innocence back, I want my laughter, I want my heart." The last was whispered so softly that Yuki almost couldn't hear it.  
  
"I can't give you any of those back." He replied quietly.  
  
Laughter escaped from Shuichi's lips as he slipped limply to the ground. "Why am I even bothering with you? You'll always be the same." Feeling spent as every one of his emotions had been spilled; Shuichi closed his eyes. "Leave."  
  
*When will I let go?*  
*Soon, soon I promise, love.*  
*What if I don't want you to let go?*  
  
*. . . love*  
  
The sound of footfalls walking away was like thunder in his ears. Shuichi laughed, it was a dream after all.  
  
The finality of Shuichi's last words echoed through Yuki's mind as he looked down one more time at the singer. His eyes traced every feature of the pretty face, from his terrible hair, to his dainty nose, to softly pouting lips. It would probably be the last time that he would see this face again. He realized what a terrible burden it was, to love someone but still be unable to reach him. Now he knew Shuichi's pain, it ripped at his insides, drowning him while he stood there. If this was what Shuichi had gone through all this time, then Yuki doesn't deserve any forgiveness. No I don't deserve any forgiveness. *All this time, when I was running away from the memory of Yuki, I was becoming him instead.*  
  
Yuki began to walk away.  
  
He imprinted the vision of Shuichi, sitting dejectedly on the pavement, trying so hard not to remember. Yuki knew that one day Shuichi would heal, just as Shuichi had once healed him in that cold, dark tenement. He had a successful career; thousands of both men and women would gladly love him. Yuki's fists clenched tightly as the thought of Shuichi taking a lover flashed through his mind. But he forced himself to walk forward, it was what he should do, what he must do.  
  
I love you, Yuki! A boyish voice squealed in the back of his mind. And then a breathless voice, whispering the same words against his neck, as they made love.  
  
Yuki stopped. *I'm sorry Shuichi, I guess I am selfish bastard after all.*  
  
Shuichi opened his eyes, his gaze fixed on the slender figure frozen in motion. The next few seconds seemed to be a blur as Shuichi felt himself gathered within a familiar embrace. Tightening his muscles, he prepared to fight off the warm body, but the harsh, tight voice stopped his movement.  
  
"I tried, I tried." Yuki's voice was hoarse with what would have been emotion for anyone else. "I tried so hard to walk away."   
  
Shuichi's eyes widened.  
  
"I told myself that it was too late, that you were better off, that you would find someone else. Maybe even that damned Nakano." Yuki buried his face in the warmth of Shuichi's neck, as he struggled to find words that usually came so easily on a keyboard. "You're completely right, I am a selfish bastard. I can't live as I am; I had to drag you in along with me. It was so easy you know? It was incredibly simple to let you hold the burden of my pain, my fears, while I watched you drown in my cruelty. You saved me. I ruined you."  
  
The feeling of wetness slid down Shuichi's neck as his arms finally came around the man that he loved so well, while he struggled to take in all of the words that had broken miraculously from a man so cold and composed.   
  
"Even now, I can't let go. I need you. More than I need anything in this world. You said that the one thing you learned from us was that you couldn't make me feel, the one thing that I learned from us was that I could feel, everyday you were in my life I felt a new emotion that I had closed off. Be it exasperation or exhilaration, each emotion was incredibly uplifting. You've made me believe that my past won't taint the rest of my life. Can't you see? What a difference you've already made?"  
  
Yuki took another deep shuddering breath as he cupped Shuichi's cheeks between two hands, bringing their eyes into contact again. Golden eyes met with purple as both read the emotions so close to the surface.  
  
"I can't give you back the old Shindou Shuichi, your innocence, your laughter, or your heart. But I promise you this." Yuki paused.  
  
"I can help you chase after the new Shindou Shuichi, I won't give up until he is found,  
  
I took your innocence, but I can give you what's left of mine. I know it's not much." His laugh was rusty as he steeled himself before continuing.  
  
"I can lend you my laughter until yours come back. You might have to make do with it, since mine doesn't sound nearly as sweet as yours, you know.   
  
I'm sorry Shuichi, but I won't give up your heart. Not because it's not in my power, but I told you I was selfish didn't I?"  
  
Yuki would have continued but Shuichi had clapped a hand over his mouth. However much he had said, Yuki hoped desperately that it would be enough to change the singer's mind. He had broken down all of his old barriers; the feeling was both incredible and terrifying.  
  
"Enough." Shuichi said quietly, his small body still as he searched through the amber depths of Yuki's gaze. Slowly, he removed his hand and moved his face closer to Yuki's. He could hear Yuki's held breath leave in a soft whoosh as he pressed his cheek against a cold, slightly stubbled one.  
  
"I love you Shuichi."  
  
It was the words he had been waiting all this time to hear. Shuichi cried, the emotional release was almost painful.  
  
The winter sky seemed to know what had happened on the Earth below as flakes of snow began to drift to the ground. Looking up at the sky, both Shuichi and Yuki held out their hands to catch the thick flakes that were quickly covering their clothes and the world around them.   
  
"I can't promise that we won't have fights again, or that I will not act like a cold bastard ever again, ten years of bad habits can't be changed in an instant, but I promise I will try my hardest." Yuki added, looking somewhat sheepish.  
  
Shuichi waited.   
  
"Let us start over?" This time, a hopeful plea.  
  
After a moment, Shuichi nodded and Yuki felt as if the weight that had been crushing him in the last few weeks had been dissolved into dust.  
  
As the couple began to move again, the city of Tokyo was a different place indeed. Everything was covered in a blanket of white, pure and sweet.  
  
When they had arrived in front of Shuichi's home, Yuki gently kissed the soft mouth that was still salty with shed tears. "I can't believe I said all that." He muttered under his breath, flushing a bright red, regaining some of his former characteristics.  
  
Shuichi laughed.  
  
*It's a good start.* Yuki thought, still very embarrassed but with no regrets.  
  
"Good night, love." Shuichi spoke, returning the words that Yuki had whispered.  
  
Yuki only smiled. No good-bye echoed after those words.  
  
He knew that tomorrow would be beautiful.  
  
The snow continued to fall, while two souls finally found peace within each other.   
  
  
~Owari~  
  
Final Edit 01.15.2003  
Completed 12.29.2002  
  
Now, for the individual THANKS!:  
  
Anomay: What would I have done without you? Thanks thanks thanks! You have been the best beta-reader ever and a great reviewer, thanks for putting up with me for so long!  
  
Other reviewers:  
Destiny, Nicole, Mika (Thanks for multiple reviews!), Eike (Your yummy gifts were greatly appreciated, thanks!), Shuki, K, Carla, CSMars (Thanks for multiple reviews!), Tenshi no Megami (Thanks for multiple reviews!), Adri, Kei-chan, Arashi Seishino, Valeicia (Thanks for multiple reviews!), Tauglanz, Amanda, Crashed_Crusade, Kitai, Suna, KagedTiger, Ferrum, Memory, Akari (Thanks for multiple reviews!), Karmastaya, SarahC, Psycho gurl (Thanks for multiple reviews!), Daemonchan, ShiTiger, Kichigai, P.S. Speare (Your review was beautiful, thanks), lilaznanigurl, Shavica, slivercross, Kou Shun'u, Atsureki, Nzomniac, Rings of Saturn, ksya-chan (Thanks for multiple reviews!), Chibi-chan (Thanks for multiple reviews and at the Gravitation fanfic archives! You rock!), avihenda, S. Wing (Thanks for multiple reviews!), satsuki-chan (Thanks for multiple reviews!), toriko, panatlantic, Shindou Shuichi, Mutio, aoko, Ishida kat (Thanks for multiple reviews!), gamefreak, Kaerith, Aishiteru, Hikaru Itsuko, Cinnabar Scarlett, Lady G (The song is from Rurouni Kenshin, titles "Heart of the Sword", performed by TM Revolution. Glad you liked it!)  
  
Thanks to all of you for putting up with this poor girl's random scribbles, I sincerely hoped you all enjoyed this fic. Thanks, 'til next time, ja! 


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